S4E7 - Why I love personal Development
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Shawn Buttner: [00:00:00] All right. All right.
Hey everyone. This is Shawn Buttner, certified high performance coach and host of The Meaningful Revolution, and today we're gonna be talking about personal development. Now, It's been a while since I've done one of these solo podcasts and it was just a lull in scheduling between Thanksgiving and Christmas while I'm filming this.
And then the next one, I think will be also another solo episode. So you can either look forward to or skip that next one. But it's probably been overdue to tell a little bit more in my story on how. The meaningful revolution came to be after a series of choices over the years. And it really does start with personal development and why I think it's really important for myself and why I encourage the [00:01:00] folks around me to, work on themselves.
And the reason is it's probably because of my dad, years and years ago, he. He was a carpenter and so growing up, we do jobs with him and just slide jobs to make some extra money for the family and the work at ethos of always try your best a hundred percent at whatever you're doing.
And that for me, applied to my studies, it applied to sports, that I was in, applied to learning the guitar. And you don't always start with that type of. Belief that like no matter what, even if your best is terrible, you have to give it your all and you should want to do it right. So that was the other thing that my par both my parents were really great at is follow your passions.
Follow what makes you happy. Follow what ignites that fire in your stomach. And it's worth chasing that because money [00:02:00] comes and goes. Situations change, but you can't control your time and what you're doing. And that was always what they basically were telling me and my brother growing up.
And so that kind of instilled this idea that. , you could always improve. And I think that's very critical. And it's something maybe unique to my story growing up, being really little, so we have that belief and you hear it all growing up and it's harped upon and you're called out when you're not given your best.
And it's really served me over a bunch of different phases of my life, right? Again, in college, in, corporate world. It was really great and it was always noticeable when I fell short of giving my best. That it would eat me up and, I'd feel bad about myself and those kind of things.
There's a little bit of a two-edged sword there with that particular belief, but that's the [00:03:00] primed me for when I graduated college to really, heed that. I wasn't happy in that job, and it wasn't because the job was bad. It wasn't because I had a bad manager. It wasn't because I had moved to a new state and was the only person I knew for a hundred miles around, those factored into feeling lost in your mid twenties, at least for me. But what it really highlighted was I had an idea of. wanting to work at a top tier technology firm. That's how I made my choices in college in a really weird way. I chose bus a school that had a strong business and computer science program, and then focused only on business because I was working like a full-time job to pay for school.
So full school load, full, 40 hours plus a week, working and, a student job that was really [00:04:00] awesome. And so like I was doing the work and that was fine. And so when I had a chance to go to grad school to bridge that gap to be closer to technology I ended up applying for an information system, a master's in information Systems.
And what that gave me or helped me navigate you probably don't even really care about this story, so why am I even going through it? Alright, we'll skip over the school stuff. So go back and edit it, Sean.
Any case. Yeah, so choices I made in school helped me try to get into that top tier tech company, and so right after grad school I ended up being hired by Walmart, which is a great company. And I think at the time was the, the [00:05:00] biggest corporation on the earth. And so provided a lot of opportunities.
I learned a whole lot. And at the end of the day though, I just would wake up super stress. I would always feel like I wasn't enough at work. I was always feeling like I was behind what everyone else was doing because I didn't have that computer science degree. I had a advanced degree that, basically taught me that I could learn anything if I stuck with it.
So that's where I start to really become interested in personal development because my quality of life was not what I imagined it, I. take, make the decisions to, to boldly like move to California and work the tech scene there. Back in the early or late 2000 tens, and had this inner struggle.
I had a bunch of student loans and so I had a lot of financial things that were stressing me out. And so I knew that, okay, I need to figure this out [00:06:00] and I need to put my full effort into figuring this. So I did when any good nerd would do at the beginning of the, where the internet was becoming ubiquitous and had mostly all the answers you could ever ask or want if you asked it.
So I started poking around online, trying to find books, trying to find articles, trying to find trainings that could help. Figure my way out of why I felt so stressed and miserable and why I was in the situation. I was, how did I make the choices to get there? And how could I apply that maximum effort to change my situation, right?
I knew that something needed to change or it would break me, and break being broken was not gonna be an option. So let's do the work. And so that's, It started reading about confidence and personal finance, picked up, I think one Tony Robbins book didn't really speak to me. And then [00:07:00] through learning about dating, cause that was another thing that I was struggling with in my, mid twenties.
Being a guy that's a little bit introverted and get really stuck in his head. I stumbled on. A guy who's in the dating world that was transitioning into the information space. So it was Guy Evan Pagan and on his newsletter to learn about dating and okay, whatever, didn't really use his stuff in the dating world, but he sent an email once saying, Hey, If you ever thought about starting an online business, my friend Brendan Ard is doing this new seminar and I think, or this new class actually it was, he's launching this new class.
I think he might really enjoy it. Here's a link to check out a webinar. Which at the time in like 2009 or whatever was pretty crazy, 2010 around there. And he's he's got this thing called Total Product Blueprint. Watch this video and if you like [00:08:00] it, check it out. And trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, I knew that I always wanted to start on my own business at some point too, on top of working at a top tier tech company.
And so with. I watch the video. I'm like, oh, maybe I can do something in this space because I like the fact that it's like software in that you can work on something once and have this exponential reach. And so I'm like, okay, I can figure this out. And so I enroll for the class, go to a couple seminars, and so I find out on top of his marketing, Brendan's marketing stuff, there is High Performance Academy, right?
I'm like, oh. He's Hey, do you want to have more confidence? Do you want to. Boldly chase your dreams and make your mark on the world and, make money in the process. But sharing your message, sharing what you know. So I'm probably combining a bunch of these, but a bunch of the seminars.
But [00:09:00] essentially I go to High Performance Academy and I asked the question, are you living your truth? And I do not like that, the answer that I had at that point in. . And so I'm journaling and I'm like, okay, I need to make some big moves. And that seminar helped give me some clarity about what I really wanted.
Going through some exercises helped me, remind me to activate my body a bit more. And at that time I was running marathons, so that was pretty easy. But to just make sure I was a little bit more on my nutrition and whatnot, so you could have the motivation to follow. How to plan your bold moves and set a deadline and all the things that we talk about in personal development.
But that seminar changed my life and it changed my life because it got me a plan to like, I think it was like three months later, quit that job at Walmart after five years after probably [00:10:00] two years of I need this change and I just don't know what to do. And so I moved to California to live with a old college friend who's you should live out here for free.
I started a business that failed, but that business eventually I applied to work at Apple and the business that failed as I was talking to the hiring manager, . I'm like, Hey, I had this thing, I'm still trying to make it work, but I think it's pretty dead. And he is tell me more about that.
And he's Hey, can I see your website? And I put up some videos that were really terrible because public speaking was not my bag. And he's oh no, we definitely, so I think it, that act of showing him all that work that I tried and failed at working, In the final cut part of Apple, essentially.
He's Hey, you figured this out on your own. I'm like, yeah. And he's okay, we want to hire you. And so that got me in the door at Apple, which accomplished one of those big goals that I [00:11:00] had earlier, going into college, I wanna work in a top tier tech company. And Apple became the number one biggest company by market cap.
And, you know that story and That seminar kicked my butt into action to get me to change, and then presented this amazing opportunity to fulfill one of my dreams, which is to work at this top tier thing, even if I had a big loss in the middle of that. And that was pretty gut wrenching, but also like I gave that business my best and I couldn't figure it out.
And, I had was looking for mentors and had. Bad advice in my particular point of view. So this worked out really well. And that's the power of high performance. That's the power of personal development. That's why I believe in it so much, and that's a huge opportunity that came through my journey of, wanting to feel like I was making moves in my life that I was, making, taking big strides towards my dreams.
And after a [00:12:00] setback. Working in an area where maybe that wasn't going to be the case. I was able to course correct and it worked out really amazingly. And so that's part of why I believe in this stuff so much.
Before having these tools, a personal development of high perform, Of confidence of, you name up. It was really tough to navigate in the world and that's definitely changed. We can cut that part out, guys. Okay. Let's see.
What's a mindset or belief that I have about personal development that others don't? So I believe personal development isn't necessarily all that personal. There is a [00:13:00] huge social aspect to it because like dare said in a previous episode of the podcast, that when you create something. Inherently want to show other people, we're very social folks, social people, social beings.
And so if you're making improvement, you want to share that with your spouse and family and friends. And sometimes you need a support network that will accept that, right? Cause sometimes when you change, it can be scary for other people. But, I believe that personal development is really, Socially focused, right?
You're doing. And we know this from high performance because when you are, make it a requirement of yourself to role model for your team, to role model for your kids, to role model for your friends and the people in your community. That necessity, that requirement of [00:14:00] I need to step up my game in service to.
Is a huge motivating factor in high performance or in personal development and a huge motivating factor in, keeping you accountable to something. Because so many people, especially in my coaching practice, when they show up for coaching, they are, they want some accountability, right? And it's because I know what I need to do.
And if it's up to me to just arbitrary, set a deadline I'll come up with excuses and ways to avoid it. And and pe that's, I think that's a pretty big truth for many people, right? If it's up to you with infinite time, infinite resources, no sense of urgency, no need to do it, as soon as possible.
then why would that could be really hard and that could be really tough. And that, again, having that sense of accountability [00:15:00] or wanting to role model to others can help you keep motivated. And that's something I really believe. So personal development is actually really socially focused.
It's not, as much of, oh, I want to, fully realize and actualize. Because you can't do that without other people either with, you're running a business where you're helping and solving problems for people, or you're trying to impress family or friends, or you're trying to inspire others.
To live better. And you're just trying to be a better person, a better spouse, a better parent, a better coworker, better, community leader, whatnot, whatever that is for you. But it is such, that external part is such an important factor in personal development.
So outside of sharing kind of my journey into getting here in front, of you for the meaningful revolution here I think [00:16:00] I am really bad at sharing all the struggle and downside of things. And I think that comes from, having a lot of struggles growing up.
When I was in kindergarten, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. And, we're able, she was able to overcome it, so it took her two years of like chemo and, staying with grandma when she's on chemo cause she was really sick and all that. But I think that experience really impacted me in the way that, in kindergarten, my, my mom sat us down at the kitchen table, explained that she was sick and had this thing called cancer and that, we were gonna have to help.
Around the house, which is fine, so since kindergarten, I was doing dishes, taking the laundry out, vacuuming, you're trying to keep the place clean as, as well as a, young child. But that sense of we're all in it together as a family, and we're all, we all need to contribute.
We all need to, do our [00:17:00] job to make it easy for everyone was instilled at that point. Afterwards, I didn't know this at the time, mom and dad's insurance didn't cover the cancer treatment, so the family had a ton of medical debt and so my mom went to work and we had this weird thing where like my dad was an early riser and would work and we'd be in bed at seven or in the evening, and then at 10 o'clock my mom would go into work at toys us for a night shift job.
So she'd be there from. 10 to six in the morning, stock or doing whatever they were doing there. And so there was a lot of struggle financially and with the, being scared that you might lose your mom and being aware of that at a very early age that, sometimes too, my parents didn't know the answers cuz my mom at the beginning of, that's I don't know how this is gonna turn out, but I think you should know.
Just maybe a little bit different and pretty heavy.[00:18:00] Through that though, like there's a lot of things that people struggle with that aren't that bad, at least from that perspective of, hey, like living with the fear of losing your parent or losing a loved one and realizing.
You could worry about things that are outta your control or you can make fun of it, , there's I think I'm a little bit better now, but like a lot of my friends, especially growing up, knew that I had sense of a dark sense of humor, so things that, Yeah, we're a little dark.
We're usually really funny to me, usually ridiculous things, absurd sense of humor. But if you didn't know how to if you never like it joked about death or whatever stupid thing I would talk about in high school, it could freak out, and so I think I weirded out a bunch of people growing up who I would at least talk to being super [00:19:00] introverted and a little reserved.
I haven't really talked about that too much, so I figure I'd share this on the podcast for you for being here, so yeah, it's funny sharing some of these stories things that I hadn't really talked about in a while.
Do, who's going to be a quick one?
Yeah, I don't really know if this episode's working out or not. The reason why I do this podcast, , is to take the spotlight off of me a bit because it's not natural to Be in the spotlight. I'd rather much work in the behind the [00:20:00] scenes and highlight people and celebrate them and show you how awesome some of the people I've met are and the cool things that they're doing out in the world.
Because I think that's what it's all about. It's been super fun to dig in and learn people's stories and why they love their thing that they love so much. . And I've learned a ton. I've been taking tons and tons of notes, and I think probably, definitely by the end of the year one of the ideas I have is earlier and like high school, I used to be a huge sublime the band fan.
And one of the early albums it had like a thank you track where. 15 minutes of them playing music and just thanking all of their influences, all the people that helped get them to where they're going. And I'll probably, I am going to do that. I'm not probably going to do that. That will happen by the end of the year.
Because I've had some [00:21:00] amazing people on, and some people that have shared some really big ideas to help people, to help serve people and help them move forward on wherever they are in their journey. And I think at the essence, , meaningful revolution has been this podcast and this idea of creating more meaning in our lives so that we feel our lives more, so that we really are designing the life that we want.
And I use that language all the time, and starting to get rote. So I need to switch it up a bit, I think. , but the core of the idea is direct your life, follow your passions. Give a hundred percent to that passion, that idea, that way of helping and serving people and watch the ripple effect that happens.
I think that's super important. If we're talking about who are like the people that I look up to in personal development, in, creating meeting and all that kind of stuff, I. really like number one [00:22:00] is Brennan Brard. That guy use books like the Charge Millionaire Messenger MO Motivation Manifesto.
Like all the books, these books have been highly researched. More importantly that gets you thinking and it's really helped me and my life and my journaling reflections and stuff help advance. And so I think his. Authentic approach to personal development. I think he's a little bit less bombastic.
Big energy, like maybe a Tony Robbins who freaks me out quite honestly. And so Tony, if you ever listen to this that's just how I feel. . It's, you're awesome man. But it really does freak me out as been a lot of journaling on that too, but we don't go, we won't go into that quite yet.
So yeah, Brandon's really good. I really think that
Journalism is another kind of way to explore the world[00:23:00] and come up with thoughts and so I, I really admire. Kara Swisher. Cuz I, I guess I still follow stuff in the news in the tech world, but I like how there's this tension in how she approaches interviews or topics where it's not usually so clear cut.
And I think that we all could use a little bit more of that objective thinking of huh what am I really trying to learn? What's the nuance? And I think she's been pretty fair with the people she's covered. And so as in a really weird way, part of my personal development journey has been how do you ask questions?
And hold that tension more. And I've had friends that have said that, I've been pretty good at being objective, there's always that, that next level, and I really do admire that about her. So shout out to Kara Swisher. Other people [00:24:00] in personal development that I absolutely love.
There's so many Mel Robbins does a really great job. Anthony Trucks I really love. I think Sherry be, who's on Or, but Blue, who's on the podcast last episode about appreciation, like that is, was such an awesome opportunity of just people that are doing good work. Get you thinking and call on you to be your best.
And I think each of those people, Brendan, definitely that's his like, core business in a lot of ways is helping you, approach the world authentically yourself. I think Kara Swisher helps you think about the world in less absolute terms, which we all could use. And then sharing of just appreciating people I think is really good.
Those are the three influences I'm gonna say now. It'll probably change next week, but there's just so much good content and good people out there doing good things.[00:25:00] To pick three is unfair, but those are the three at the top of my mind in this moment. So if. You're wondering how do I deepen my personal development journey?
Again, my belief is that personal development is socially focused. I think, you can get a lot out of reading a book, but you're gonna get more of going to a seminar and getting around people that are on the same path. I think you could, get the same type of. Experience in an online community where you're seeing people's faces, you're getting to know people that are on the journey, you're getting to know a mentor or someone that's really helping you along the way.
I think at the highest level, having a one-on-one conversation with a coach, with a mentor, with an advisor with someone that's got your back in best. And has a structure and process is going to be the best way that you [00:26:00] will develop personally. And whether it's a skill coach, so you're trying to learn how to play soccer.
So you have a, like the world's best soccer coach teaching you, you have a high performance coach that has that. Amazing process and the built in coaching skills that we're refining year after year to make sure we're delivering the highest quality coaching experience. That's the coaching that I do outside of the podcast here.
And it's fantastic, or whatever, that type of experience, that one on one of someone. that has your back to or can ask you questions that are unique to your situation and kind of personalize that experience so that you're making sure that you're getting the ideas that you're having your breakthroughs, that you're learning more about yourself, but you're also learning more about the world or learning a different way and how to think and approach things can be [00:27:00] super, super valuable.
And that's really going to accelerate your. growth the most, right? And so if you're interested in coaching you can try it with me. I have, I'll have a link below this where you can sign up either for a free one hour strategy session where I'll take a couple of moments from that session and post it on my YouTube channel just to show and highlight the experience.
But on that call either on the YouTube or if you pay for a private call, which is $197 at the moment of this recording. Either way that you go, you're gonna go through an application process, and this does a couple things, right? One, it gets you, it asks you a bunch of questions related to high performance that gets you thinking about your life and maybe in a way that you haven't before.
And so people really love just those question. And, so many people after they go through the application before we get on the call are like, wow, that was a little [00:28:00] intense, but I really love how it got me thinking. And so that's part of the reason for the application. The other part of it is to weed out people that aren't going to give a hundred percent.
I talked about how my dad had that belief that you give a hundred percent in everything you do, and I'm gonna show up a hundred percent for you on that. So I need you to show up a hundred percent on that application. And I found through over the years of coaching that the folks that don't really take that part seriously are not gonna take an hour of my time seriously.
So it's a little bit of a weed out for that. A third thing that application does is it helps ground me and make sure that I can optimize that hour of coaching. Giving you that strategy session where we go over habits and build you a plan over that hour that you can walk out with and implement immediately to start seeing results.
So it allows me to tailor the conversation to where you're at in your life and where [00:29:00] you need a little bit more focus maybe, or some more strategies or some more strategic. Tactical things to really help you reach that next level for you. Like I said, coaching's the highest way of going about it.
And if you'd like coaching with me, you can go below again this video and either sign up for that free YouTube public session or that you can, pay for that private session. . But yeah, I've been doing this for years and I absolutely love those conversations. So anyway, so you go through that application on the call.
In general I'll try to hit most of these five points of helping you find more clarity in your life, helping you find how to fine tune your energy, how to take some more bold action, how to get a little bit more dialed in on your productivity. And how to, inspire and influence people a little bit more and or just connect with people more,[00:30:00] that, that kind of people skill type thing.
Yeah, that's the call, that's the strategy session. We focus on those five areas on the call, the application forms. Which one of those three. Points to really highlight during that call. And then we build you a plan. So you'll walk away again with some high performance habits. You'll walk away with some personal breakthroughs through that call.
And that's awesome, right? And so that could, that's me giving my most effective way of helping you advance in your. And helping you move forward. And then, after that call, if you still need some extra help or you wanna continue, we have that conversation, just full disclosure.
But ultimately it's my job to show up, give you a hundred percent during that hour. Hopefully you show up and you give a hundred percent and we come up with an amazing plan that changes your life. And that's the standard that I hold myself [00:31:00] up to. Yeah, definitely click below and take me up on that offer cause it is transformational.
And if not, continue to watch the pod or watch or listen to the podcast. There's a reason why I do this podcast for free or I have a newsletter that you get weekly emails about high performance topics for me for free. It's, I don't. You to, I'll meet you wherever you are on your personal development journey.
And sometimes you just need a couple ideas to get going, but if you really wanna again, advance at the quickest pace, one-on-one coaching is the way to go. Yeah. So I hope this was informative for you. Next week I'll cover another topic. Another something that I find meaningful and I have a couple guests scheduled for December, so hopefully that scheduling sticks.
And so we'll have some more folks with you. So it's not just me talking into a mic here in my, home [00:32:00] office. I just wanna say lastly, guys, I appreciate you for listening, for watching. I really am always surprised that people take interest in this. , but it's here to help. It's here to maybe push you along and challenge you a little bit, I hope.
But at the end of the day, we're all on a personal development journey, and I hope if it's just for an hour in your car, if it's just for an hour on your walk, that these weekly conversations, Our helping you move along. And finally, if there's anything, any questions you'd like to ask, make sure to leave it on Apple Podcasts or you can go to my website.
And check out the podcast and leave a comment on the episode. I think I get those. Definitely do that. Guys, I'd love to hear from you and tell me what you think, what you love about the [00:33:00] podcast, what you wish I would do differently. What drives you nuts, and I should stop immediately. I'm all open to trying to make this the best.
Experience ever for you. Cause I'm here to give you a hundred percent when I'm doing the podcast. And a hundred percent is changing as I get more experience with it for you. So that said, guys, we'll see you next week on The Meaningful Revolution. This is Sean Butner signing out. Oh, real quick, if you wanna let us to last week's episode.
Go over here and click and go forward.
