S5E3 - Mim Abbey
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Mim Abbey: [00:00:00] I believe in not just a really great resume or a really great application or really great interview. I believe in becoming the right person for that next role, becoming the right person for that next
Shawn Buttner: role. If you could start a meaningful revolution in the world right now, or your living one right now what would you call it?
What are the components of it and could you tell us all a little bit about what that means
Mim Abbey: for you? I would say the meaningful revolution would be called the true you revolution when you're in a really tense situation and it's typically a situation where you would say something to someone you wish you hadn't said, or you'd fly off the handle or you'd get super tense if you found yourself being able to stop yourself and you didn't say that thing or pause and go, you know what?
I don't need to get so wound up about this. You probably just touched your. Your true self because that's your wiser voice saying, you know what, [00:01:00] don't say that thing. . Not a good moment for that.
Shawn Buttner: Hey everyone. Welcome to the Meaningful Revolution podcast. The podcast where we hope to inspire you to live into what you find fulfilling and meaningful in your life. And I'm your host Sean Butter, certified high performance coach. And today's guest is an established leader in the fields of both professional and personal development.
With more than 20 years of experience helping people and companies become more effective and reach their personal, professional, and strategic and relationship goals she brings an unmatched depth of expertise that combines her with her authentic approach and dynamic delivery to equip people with the tools that they need.
So as a result of her speaking workshops, coaching or virtual work, people and teams are ready to take on their next steps, plus maintain the necessary [00:02:00] momentum to achieve and exceed their targets. And she's has expertise helping Fortune 500 companies across the globe grow, including Asia, Europe, and the Middle East, Africa, north all the continents.
Working with companies like Yahoo, Microsoft, Cisco, Bloomberg's, Pfizer, Goldman Sachs, K R, JP Morgan, Tiffany, and so much more. It is my distinct pleasure to welcome my friend Mim Abby to the podcast. Mim welcome.
Mim Abbey: Thank you, Sean. Such a pleasure to be with you today.
Shawn Buttner: Right on. So today's topic we're talking about.
How to get promoted essentially, but it's part of your larger Soul of Success brand. So I've been asking this new question to start off the podcast. If you could start a meaningful revolution in the world right now, or your living one right now what would you call it? What are the [00:03:00] components of it, and could you.
Tell us all a little bit about what that means for you.
Mim Abbey: Gosh, what a great question, Sean. We certainly are in a world where we need some meaningful revolutions that advance us personally, that advance our world. Yeah, I'd love to jump on that wagon and what comes to mind for me first, the thing that has been driving me for the last several years now as my career has unfolded, and that's, it's taken twists and turns as many peoples do but it comes out of a conversation I had with a client some years ago and I'll cut to the chase and say, I would say the meaningful revolution would be called the true you Revolution.
And the strong statement I would make about that, and then I'll tell you that quick story is that in my observation and in my experience, you've heard, I do this work all over the world. So in a lot of different countries and a [00:04:00] lot of different individuals and groups, large companies, and.
Of course, what I really care about is down at that individual level, us as people. What I've observed is that we get triggered as human beings all the time. Stuff pushes us out of our comfort zone. That's a good thing. But it also brings up these triggers and people will argue, people will disagree.
Stuff, stuff just comes up that can make us crazy. And what happens is unbidden, without our realizing it, we downshift typically from this part of our brain that is logical and it makes good decisions. And we downshift from that part of our brain down to the part of the brain that, that just, we go into fight mode, we go into well fight or flight mode.
And that's a survival instinct. So it's not bad. It's good to have survival instincts, it's just that we tend to take our survival instincts to. Our important relationships, we tend to take our survival [00:05:00] instincts to our important projects and pursuits, and it's just, again, survival is an important thing, but when you're having to make delicate decisions about projects and about direction to take and about a sensitive conversation with someone who's important to you in your personal life or in your professional life, if you just bring your survival instincts to those situ.
It, it causes trouble. And so really when we downshift away from what I'm just, what I'm gonna call in many ways the true self, the true you the part of you that's wise, the part of you that's can take a step back and is more objective the part of you that it's like that deeper knowing part of you.
And there's more to it. There's certain parts of the brain that are associated with it. But all that to say if we could as individuals and then larger, just as people on planet Earth, if we could all [00:06:00] spend more time making decisions and interacting with situations and with people from our true self and not what I call the starter self the more reactive self, it'd be a better world.
We'd be happier people, we'd be healthier people. And it came out of Sean, if I may, it just, it came out of a conversation with a client and. I was coaching this team on here's how you deal with someone who's being very reactive with you, and here's how you help them to, without them knowing you're not patronizing them.
But it's, here's how you help them to move out of that reactive place so that the two of you can really have a good, productive discussion. And this gentleman said, he said, okay, I, this is great. This is a really, it's, it is a powerful process. This is a powerful process for how to communicate with someone who's in that reactive brain.
But he said what do I do with myself? Cuz I get triggered, so I'm in [00:07:00] my react, I'm in that brain, so how do I deal with myself and is a really good question. And so I developed a body of material around that for how do we just be our truest best selves most of the time, as opposed to just a little bit of the time, which so many of us are.
This is a long answer, to your question totally. And I love the true you revolution of as high performance coaches, we're always trying to get people to be in their best selves. Yeah. Excuse me. And operating in that mode really is about that lifestyle of living with joy, a sense of relaxation, a sense of vibrancy in life, which is so powerful.
Shawn Buttner: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. And your story on how it got kicked off, that conversation is pretty[00:08:00] awesome too. But I'm curious now if you could tell us a time, maybe when you were in your starter self and then you figured your way that, oh, there has to be a better way and maybe finding your true self.
Maybe in an earlier moment when that wasn't as accessible to you. Or maybe it was always, and that's your superpower however that goes for you. But how does that gosh resonate? Yeah.
Mim Abbey: Great. Thank you so much for asking that. It's so true. I've had, the reason this is such a passion for me is I have lived so much of my life in reactive mode and in, I'm gonna say stress mode and in even fear mode.
I'm a professional speaker and I've been a professional speaker for many years and coaching people. And I I, earlier in my career, I was aware how [00:09:00] incredibly stressed I would get any time. I spoke in front of a group of people and I spoke in front of a group of people. Several times a week.
This is my job. And I remember being aware then, wow, this is a really good job for me because it's forcing me, it's pushing me to learn to do this. But what I will say is that I, that was the hard way, . I just forcing myself, and I really do believe in the more we put ourselves out there, we build our confidence, we build our competence.
So that's all good stuff. It's just, if I had the tools earlier the tools earlier to, in the moment, if you're feeling like, Ooh, like here's what I, here's what I'll, and I'm, I'll get around to answering your question. What I'll do now is I'll really be aware. I'll go. Wow, I'm about to be in this high pressure situation and I can just, I can feel in my body that I'm feeling small and feeling scared.
I'm feeling [00:10:00] like am I don't know that I'm up to this. And and because I've used the tools over and over again, it's just take a deep breath and ask myself, who am I being right now? Am my being my starter self or my being my true self? And I really do mean the true self. It's I believe it's always been there.
It's just been waiting for when I was ready for yours, as was waiting for when you're ready. But I'm able to quickly access it now. So I would say when I started to become aware of that, there was another option. I developed a little process for myself, and the process starts and I developed it into something.
I work with clients, but the very first step in the process is stop. Is stop. Because what's happening is you've, you're on a, you're on a track and there's a lot of self-talk that is associated with it. So in that situation, the track might be, oh, I've got this high pressure presentation to give and [00:11:00] am I gonna be able to hold it together in a maybe stressful relationship situation.
The self-talk actually might be directed at the other person, ah she's so selfish or he he doesn't know what he's talking about. Or the judgments will start flying. So whether the judgments are to myself, whether the judgments are to other people. So earlier on, when I started to become aware, hey, there's another me that can handle this a whole lot better than I can.
It was really a matter of start That first is just stop. Ooh, stop that thought train. And it's really helpful. You stop and you take a deep breath and you're able to look and go, oh, look at where I was going. And when you can get that little bit of a space, a little bit of a distance to look at yourself and go, you step outside yourself.
It's like that wiser self really kicks in. That true self just kicks [00:12:00] in and says, oh look I'm going down that track. I'm getting caught on that track. And that it sometimes that is all you need. You go, oh, and I have another option available to me. So just at least with that, stop breathing as part of that.
And then the next thing would be just observing. Observing yourself. Observing your reactivity. Re observing how you're, how
Shawn Buttner: you're triggered. Right on. Yeah. It's so simple. Stop, breathe, observe, it's basically I feel like. So much personal development is ba based around content that's ba you could boil down into stop, breathe, observe, isn't
Mim Abbey: it?
So well said, Sean. Yeah, it's true. And in the, in, in the soul of success in our content one thing that we do all the time is called soul practice. Soul practice. And it has to do with getting you back in that right brain in the [00:13:00] correct, not the right versus left brain, but the but your best brain that is, that really is the seat of your true self and that helps you to be making decisions you wanna make and interacting and behaving and just experiencing life in the most productive way.
So a lot of soul practice. . . Yeah.
Shawn Buttner: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so I'm curious, as we were talking a little bit before the call about. You had your soul success, you have a new thing that we'll talk about soon to tease it for the audience right now. And we talked about starting out the true you revolution.
Yeah. And I absolutely love, I get I knowing you for a while. I see how all this is connected. I'm curious, so you were talking about how you [00:14:00] love to help people get promoted. Can you share maybe a little bit more about, I'm guessing your work experience had a little bit to do with that.
Like how do you, how did you stumble into that part of this work? Maybe you didn't stumble. It's probably with a lot more intention words do matter. But could you explain maybe your journey, I guess getting to here and now helping people, individuals with their, they're getting promoted at work or.
Leveling
Mim Abbey: up their career. Yeah. Oh, no, it's great. And Sean by the way, stumbling. I really, I have, I look back at my career and go, wow, I really stumbled into this. And I do believe that we take action on things that matter to us, and we learn things and doors open, we learn things and doors open.
We learn things and doors open. And that's how, so I do feel like there is some really I would say blessed stumbling that happens [00:15:00] along the way. Yeah. A couple things happened for me, so I've been, yeah. Honestly, it's been like 30 years doing what I do, but I, and it's grown and changed, but it, but in essence, I've been I really started my career in in the corporate world in a learning and development capacity and helping people to be more effective and more successful in their roles.
And that, that, that entail, I was in the computer industry and I ran an internal university, so I managed that internal university and I, there were technical programs that people would go through. There were communication and leadership and management programs. I would teach those programs. So the, I really come out of the corporate sphere and a couple things happened with me along the way.
Number one, I'll just say with the solo success brand was grown out of that experience because because [00:16:00] I did my corporate experience like flat out, like I just I didn't take lunch. I just worked and worked and cuz it my parents taught it's like strong or work ethic.
Which is a good. But ultimately I can totally burn myself out. It was just, I didn't do it the smart way. And so success was born out of there's, you definitely wanna cr you wanna go to the heights, the highest heights you can go professionally, and you also wanna have a great time personally doing it.
That, that's where the Soul of Success Mountain was born. It's the three level mountain. And there's the life areas of thriving. And then on top of that is the relationship areas of connecting. And at the top is the professional area of achieving and has to do with purpose and meaningful purpose, et cetera.
So there's the path that goes up the mountain with the, with all the success principles, et cetera. So [00:17:00] that, that came out of me just like working like a crazy person and needing to. And like my body started breaking down all sorts of it's okay. That's way too many aches and pains going on.
This is not just my feet and just my jaw and just my hands. It's eh, something systemic and the systemic thing was just my inner approach. So that was going on and that's how solo success was born. And love helping people with their life, whole life, professional and personal success.
Then as part of that, there I am in these so now you've asked me about the career accelerator, which is which is a, yeah.
Shawn Buttner: Before you, you go I had maybe a interesting connection here for this part of the story. So Yeah, you, we talked about living your true evolution, you talk about being taught to be a hard worker.
And I think I [00:18:00] like that was my parents growing up is you work hard, you give it Yeah. Everything. A hundred percent. Yeah. And then you ended up burning out because of that process. So if you're trying to live your authentic self and your authentic self, so here's the question. Was your authentic self the workaholic burn the candle at both ends person?
Or was that the starter self that wasn't, hadn't realized there was a higher way of doing
Mim Abbey: things? Yeah. Yeah. You right on. And it is the starter self. So the way I define the starter self is, and it, the starter self. you gotta love your starter self. And I mean it like love and respect and gratitude and appreciation cuz your starter self came into the world and said, oh, okay.
So like for me, I'm the youngest of four, so I came in and there was already a whole set. Like [00:19:00] things were already set. The family had the, this is the way we do things, et cetera. So I got that pretty pretty . I had my own ideas, but they, I got it was got hammered into me.
It's no, this is the way the Abbey family does things. So I like learning those things. And so that, that wasn't necess. My true self, but my starter self went if I'm gonna survive in this family, I'm gonna, I'm gonna learn to do it that way cuz that's what's acceptable and approved of et cetera.
So it's just things like that, like you just learn the starter self is the one that's scrappy and figures out how to stay alive through your thoughts and through your teens, et cetera. And it's just, the issue is if for most, I'm just gonna, I am gonna say most people cuz we don't think about this you're in your third job and you still are operating from your starter self, which will tend to be reactive and adaptive [00:20:00] and not deeply in touch with just with the truest, and I'm gonna say wisest I'm not talking about selfishness, I'm talking about everyone's got their inner wisdom.
We really do. We have that higher voice and are we listening to. So that's yeah, that that I gotta do it this way. I was really taught on my parents, pick yourself up by your bootstraps. Stiff up her lip sounds like you were too, Sean. Yeah. So you you know what that's and yeah, there's a, it's like that wiser self nose.
I can still achieve a lot professionally. Like I can go to the heights and I can also have a life. And I can also do it in a way that is sustainable and takes care of myself. And I was not blessed my parents they weren't taught to they came out of depression era families and so they weren't taught to take good care of themselves.
They were taught just really sur survival. [00:21:00] Yes.
Shawn Buttner: Yeah. But that's awesome. And I hope I forgot to, I always forget to tell people, grab some notes to take notes. I have a pitch notes here. And. I brought that question up because I feel sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking we're being authentic when we're hurting ourselves.
It's I know I've had that in my career. Yeah. Where I would, anytime anyone asked me to do anything, I'd say yes. And then I'm stressed out. Cause I never got any of my projects done. I feel like I'm not enough. I feel like I'm not keeping up, I'm not getting ahead of things. Yeah. And so it's really tricky to know when you're operating from that, that elevated version.
So I just wanted to make that point. And you so elegant, eloquently shared that, and I think the key word is sustainable, right? You're not really going to be [00:22:00] able to work at as hard as you possibly can. If. You can't get out of bed because you've destroyed your body or you're miserable because you don't have anyone to talk to because nobody knows you're around because you're working so much.
And that's, it's really, yeah. Too heavy hitting things that I see in my coaching practice, but I wanted to just call that out.
Mim Abbey: So it's really good. And Sean, by the way I totally relate to that. Just like doing everything for cuz you wanna be a kind and generous person. That's that's part of your personal ethic. It's just and so I didn't have the, my starter self was like, oh, you just gotta say yes to everything and . So it's oh, have you read, ever read boundaries codependent no more anyway. . The higher self and the wise self knows you know what I, you gotta say no.
So that you can keep saying a larger yes to those who [00:23:00] ultimately depend on you personal or professional life. So yeah, it's doing some of those tough things.
Shawn Buttner: Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, so we were, so you did the sole success in response to this phase of burnout and really pushing hard and reevaluating and elevating.
So take us forward from this part of your story.
Mim Abbey: Oh yeah. I so I, this work that I do in organizations in inside of companies, it is truly there's a reason why I keep coming back and I keep doing it and I keep I went from communication and leadership coaching and branched out then into sales and business development.
And I still do, of course, the leadership piece. But the thing that, that. They all have in common is they help people grow in their careers. They help people get to the next level. [00:24:00] And I looked around cuz I, I've worked in big companies, you named some of them that have these extensive programs that, and some of them are better than others, that teach people some important things that are gonna help them grow in their careers.
But a lot of companies don't. A lot of companies don't have that, or the stuff that they do have internally, the training and the growth opportunities. I've gotten earphones and earphones from clients saying, wow, most of the stuff that are, that's offered in house, it's not helping me to get to the next level.
Yeah. So I realized there I am, I'm working all over the world. I'm working with leaders. I'm seeing what got leaders promoted and I'm seeing the thing I'm behind these closed doors where they're talking about what are these promotable. Qualities and what aren't. And somehow there's a disconnect.
People I've had employees say to me I wanna get promoted. My boss is gonna help me. [00:25:00] Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Anyway, all that to say, what I never found was a really comprehensive set and a, in a really good, like a right on set of here's the tools, here's the skills, here's the qualities, here's the process to get you that next level, get you that substantial raise or get you that promotion.
And so I saw that as something that was missing. And I really have a heart. I do have a, my I love my work with organizations, but my heart is really with the person, with the individual. And so I decided, I'm, I know the process cuz I see how it's working for the p for the leaders we're getting promoted.
So I created this process and I thought, I wanna take this to people who might not get it. They're not gonna get it inside their company for whatever reason. Either there's not that level of training, or the training isn't great, that, and that happens, or the boss isn't helping [00:26:00] them for whatever reason.
And yeah, so I put together, so I got the process that I've seen work and I am. So excited about, and I put it together in a program, it's called The Career Accelerator. And it's a it's a coaching program that I personally walk people through. And so it is tailored, it is customized to each individual, but it's a lot.
If yours, and if you've, if people Sean, who are serious about getting that promotion and they're ready to put in the work and work with me I don't bite , so I'm right on. I love helping people be successful. And I've stubbed my toe and I've made the errors and the mistakes and my most embarrassing moments and all of that.
I've totally been there, . And I've seen it all and I've done it all. So that's what that program is. Yeah. And it's, you're gonna love this. The the process is actually called the Raise process. [00:27:00] And it's a it's an acronym, but it just appeared because those are, these are the steps that you gotta take in order to get a promotion.
And the other thing I'd say is it's just if I may just, Sean I'd see people would try to get a promotion and they would do it by okay, I'm just gonna I'm gonna work the resume, or I'm gonna in a big company, maybe I'm gonna, I'm gonna post for this job. There's job posting, so I'm gonna post for for this job.
And it's like those are great and those have to be done. They're just tactics. And so if the career accelerator, we go a lot deeper than tactics so that you just don't leave any stone unturned in making sure that you're the one, you're,
Shawn Buttner: you're the one. Right on. Yeah. So I guess the first question that pops in my head in your extensive experience, what [00:28:00] types of things generally cause people to stumble when they're going for that new position or that next position or that level of cause I'm thinking about the advice I was given and in my career in tech when I had some good advice, but I'm curious what, where do people stumble or struggle or just don't know what they don't know?
Mim Abbey: Yeah. Really good. It it, there's an there's a variety of areas, which is why the program is covers, covers all these areas. One I would say is there's this thing going around right now, Sean, where there's a lot I've seen on social and I've seen out there, which is about just just do your job.
Do your job and don't do anymore. and it's don't be used by your company. Just do your job [00:29:00] and go that extra mile because then they're just they're getting all this good stuff out of you and you're not being rewarded for it. And I would say that's you wanna run away from that folks.
You, you wanna, I would say to your audience, Sean, you. You wanna go that opposite direction. You wanna set yourself apart, you wanna it's, it, it's again, getting down to the human level. If we don't bring, and I'm not talking about getting walked all over, a big part of that we talk about in the program is confidence and bringing your bravery, your boldness and your confidence through the process.
So there's a, you don't wanna get stepped on and yet you wanna bring it really, again, it has to do with your ethic. You wanna bring this I'm gonna say personal generosity to the pr, you wanna lead with generosity and in general, the energy you bring to things. I really believe the energy you bring to things comes back to you.
So if you bring a, I'm just gonna do what's [00:30:00] required and nothing else until they. Do until they make a move to give me more or something. I, it's gonna be a while till they make the move to, to give you more so you really wanna distinguish yourself with your generosity of how could you go the extra mile.
So one of the things that. We talk about got this really this little innovation incubator built into the program. Where are you somebody who is looking out for ways that, whether it's just taking initiative to be helpful or even creating innovations that are going to, it's above and beyond you're what you're doing, but sometimes it doesn't take very long to just look under the surface and find something that, huh, here's something that I could make a case for and a way that we could streamline processes, we could make the department run a little run, run more smoothly and make my boss's life easier.
So that's one I would say don't get caught up everyone in the, this sort of fad right now of just [00:31:00] do what's required and don't do anything more until they promise they're gonna give you something more. Say you take that first step of generosity. So that's, yeah, that's one. Yeah.
Shawn Buttner: Yeah. I think they call it quiet quitting, right?
Isn't that the, they call it
Mim Abbey: quiet, quitting. It's just terrible . Yeah. It's, it is this thing. Yeah, it is this thing right now. And yeah, obviously you've you're familiar with it too, Sean, so I would say be that person and one I work within one of the groups I consult with is a the.
An accounting group, a financial analyst, an accounting group within a major company. And they, these employees, they're a few, couple or just couple or three years in, and they come maybe from these public accounting firms and maybe there's this sort of, [00:32:00] you've been here for two years and you automatically get a promotion.
There's this automatic expectation and it's just, for most companies, it's not that, it's not that way. It really is merit based. And so you wanna distinguish, it's not, I've been here this amount of time, so I get the big raises or so I get the promotion, it's, Hey, you and I've had these, I have leaders in this company say please help our, help the teams understand this, that it's up to them.
They gotta step. Yeah. And it's, you know what? That's exciting. It's a, it, you know what it comes down to Sean, I really believe this. That as you, as people grow in their careers, it's, yes, it's about the money. Cuz it this is a weird time for our economy and you've gotta be making more money for yourself and for your family.
Cuz otherwise you're going backwards. Because prices are so high. So it is in a sense about the money, the status. It's a good thing. You've earned this thing, but really ultimately, and I'm so [00:33:00] deeply believe this is, as you go on the journey to get to that next level, the journey you go through at release that we go through with the career accelerator, you actually.
Better person. And that's the most important thing. It's like the, gosh, the money and the status and all that stuff. It's like the icing on the cake. You, your, you, your life gets better, not just because of the paycheck and not just because of the new title. Your life gets better because guess what?
You got better in the process. It's actually quite exciting. So that's right on. That's another add. I'd say that I really believe in growth is about the, it's, yes, it's not just the external stuff is the icing on the cake.
Shawn Buttner: Definitely. Definitely. On the those lines beliefs and mindsets, is there a belief that you have that other people in a similar position or that help people advance in their career so that maybe other [00:34:00] career coaches or.
I'm not sure what the right I always hate giving people buckets, but I'm just trying to find a point of reference. Yeah. But your peers, what kind of mindset or belief do you have that others don't?
Mim Abbey: Oh, wow. You know what? I would s yeah. I would link that to the last bit we just talked about about really what you'll get out of the process.
Because I, my, the, I mean in the raise process and in the career accelerator, yeah, you're we are gonna work on your resume, we're gonna work on your LinkedIn, we're gonna work on your interview skills, like all that is within there. But those are the tactics that lay on top of what I really believe is it's not about the tactics, it's about the strategy and the strategy that I have people, and we do it pretty quickly.
It's a 90 day process. So I, so what I'm about, I say that just because what I'm about to [00:35:00] say, I don't want people to feel like, oh my gosh, that's gonna dig forever. Doesn't take forever. It's a matter of if you're motivated to adopt certain things, and this is the thing that I believe does set it apart.
I believe in not just a really great resume or a really great application or really great interview. I believe in becoming the right person for that next role. Becoming the right person for that next role. So it really I've baked in, we baked into the, this is why we baked into the program.
All these things that I have seen. I've coached people too and then I've also seen people get promoted from, and it has to do with that crafting that innovation. It has to do with how they're showing up in meetings. I know people who are showing up in meetings and they're scared cuz it's with their boss's boss.
It's. It's with some pretty major heavy hitters and it's I'm gonna open my mouth and make a fool of myself here. [00:36:00] So there's how to speak up in compelling ways, in high level meetings like that. And like how to make a case for something. It's how to deal with pushback and resistance.
It's how to deal with tough you know what about if your boss is a boss isn't a big fan of yours, how do you still go around that and get so it's really in depth. It's, that's what I say. It's comprehensive. And what happens is you adopt these things. You start practicing these things.
It doesn't. It doesn't take long. You're actually we talk about your reputation quite a bit in the program and one of the things is literally within three weeks, four weeks you're, you have a different reputation in your company because people are seeing you show up in different ways.
So there's, that's what I believe. It's not about doing the tactics, although the tactics are included. It's really about more than that. And it's about becoming and being the only candidate for that [00:37:00] role, for that next role.
Shawn Buttner: Right on. Right on. So lemme see what the next best question might be. So could you talk about maybe some influences you pulled on this topic?
So as you came together with the program, as you progressed and figured this out who are the leaders in this field other than yourself that. You looked up to or found inspiration from, or are like, I'm going to borrow, steal, utilize that little bit in my work? I'd say it's really, gosh, it's really over the years and it's more like corporate like when I've been in companies, like for example, I've developed a so there's not a name [00:38:00] behind this.
Mim Abbey: I've developed a what do you do when people don't like your idea? Like, how do you deal with still being strong and assertive but not combative? So how do you deal with, or there's conflict with somebody, so how do you maintain. Gravitas without being combative. But you also, so like fight or flight.
You don't fight and you don't flee. What's that? Door number three. So I coach people in that, and that's I've, gosh, I've seen all the models within corporations. I've I've been through it all. And so I've pulled the best of the best. So there's not really a name behind that.
So a lot of my stuff is from this, from over the years. Who do I listen to? Gosh, I listen to Brendan Burchard, I I love, he's his emphasis on growth. It's like the old saying, progress, not perfection. And I come from [00:39:00] a perfectionist background and it's gotta be perfect.
And it's it's such a, it's such a bust. Nothing is perfect. And so that's been a learning process for me along the way and for some of my clients. So yeah. So I'll listen to Brendan and then I'll read. Like, when I think about a lot of coaching that I do with people is really around communication and messaging.
And a favorite made to stick with Chip and Dan Heath. Love that. There's so much in that I'm actually looking over at my bookshelf here in my home office brain Rules by Dr. John Medina. Just how the brain works in terms of, and these have to do with creating messaging and how to get it out there.
So those are some of the names that I follow. I love listening to Ed Mullet. That's such a great podcast. And all the people [00:40:00] he has on, I typically will learn something with his questions. So those are just maybe some of the people,
Shawn Buttner: right. Yeah Brandon seems to come up nearly every time yeah.
Mim Abbey: Yeah. He's got a lot of wisdom, isn't he? Yeah.
Shawn Buttner: Yeah. A lot. Yeah. A lot of good inspiring things to, yeah. And of course, he's the guy who made the high performance coaching curriculum. We both follow. Yeah. All right. I'm not sure if you do that in your programs. I follow, I can vouch
Mim Abbey: for that. Yeah. I, your Honor, I, yep.
I have gone got my own program. I know that the certified high performance coaching is fantastic. I have had my own thing for coming out of the corporate world for a long time that I use now for people with work or for personal,
Shawn Buttner: so Right on. Yeah. Sup. Super cool. Next best question.
[00:41:00] All right. This is, I've been asking this one. It's been interesting. Is there something you could share on the podcast? That you haven't shared on stage or on another interview or podcast or any of your content. So just something new that you, that people don't know.
Mim Abbey: I'm thinking, Sean, I think you might have stoked me here.
Shawn Buttner: That means it's working. Yes. Yeah. .
Mim Abbey: Yeah I think I'm putting it all, I'm putting it all out there. Yeah, and let me run that in the back of my mind and if something comes up and Sean, you're just talking about something from anything I haven't shared or something new I have going on that I haven't.
Shawn Buttner: Just anything. Yeah. Hopefully it relates to living your meaningful [00:42:00] revolution of the True self or the true You revolution, but it could be anything related to your products or story war stories from figuring out this process to help people or anything like that.
Mim Abbey: Yeah. I guess I would say with the true You thing it's really, I found it insidious because I, it's not like I
I like from a larger perspective, I am an extrovert. And I'm a communicator. I always have been. And so look at the field I'm in. I help people learn how to communicate better as part of what I do. And I and I'm a speaker. It's so I, and I speaking, stumbling into our careers.
I, I fell into this career in corporate learning and development, which I'm now I'm not inside anymore. I'm this external consultant. But, and coach. But I fell into that when I was 22. [00:43:00] Right out, outta school. I got on a really right path for who I am. So you could say, oh she was being our true self.
So it's but I wasn't underneath I was judgmental of myself underneath. I was I was I was hiding my light, so to speak. I was bringing my serious professional self to my serious professional role. And my sort of, my naturally expressive self just went away.
And and a lot of the joy that I could have been experiencing, a lot of the, a lot of the inner freedom I could have been experiencing I wasn't, because I really wasn't listening to that why self to that true self. I was just following those marching orders that, that starter self learned.
So I would say, I would, what I would say to people is just to be aware of that. If you're wondering, am I following my [00:44:00] starter self? Am I listening to my true self? Just get quiet sometime if you meditate. Ask that question in your meditation.
So if you can listen for that again, that higher self, that high higher voice, and if you've got a higher power that you talk with, I mean ask your higher power for help in, in this. If you've been what I here's a quick way to know. Are are you accessing your true self?
Is when you're in a really tense situation and it's typically a situation where you would say something to someone you wish you hadn't said, or you'd fly off the handle, or you'd get super tense if you found yourself being able to stop yourself and you didn't say that thing, or pause and go, you know what?
I don't need to get so wound up about this. You probably just touched your. Your true self, because that's your wiser voice saying, you know what, don't say that thing. not a good moment for that. Or, you know what? You don't need to go on this [00:45:00] on this inner journey of tension here you can stop right now.
And cuz there's nothing you can do about this, maybe, or let it go. Or if you're gonna do something about it, you gotta have a calmer brain to do it. You probably touched your true self. So that's a way to think about it and to access it in regular life. But I would say, Hey, get out, take a walk, get out in nature.
Close your eyes not maybe when you're walking, but at some point. And just get quiet and listen for it. Don't necessarily think, oh, because I'm following what I seems like of the right career for me. Like I did, I must be listening to Mike cuz I really wasn't mostly touching base with my true self.
Right.
Shawn Buttner: Excuse me. Yeah. I love that because part of when I've found this pod podcast to, as I'm stumbling through this process of making the [00:46:00] best podcast I possibly can, one of the things ideas I think that has come up has been to create a life that you've designed and not that's been, and not live a life that's been designed for you.
Ah, and I think it's a different way to say exactly what you're saying. You can't be your authentic self if you're following a path that your parents laid for you, your job laid for you, society laid for you, culture laid for you. Yeah. List friends, family, teachers, all those types of things can really, there's some comfort in knowing the direction, but the work is to figure out which paths you wanna be on in life.
Yeah I definitely. , hear that in your story and love. I wanna recognize that in your story of oh yeah, there's a different way, there's a better way, there's something a little bit more my truth that I can show up as. Yeah. So that's pretty amazing. Yeah. [00:47:00] So if we were to maybe speak in general, if somebody was trying to level up their career in an organization or as a business owner, and they're just getting started in that process, what would be like two or three starting strategies, starting habits, starting things that could help get them in the game as they push to, to move forward in that area of their life.
That's
Mim Abbey: great. Yeah. Sean, thanks for that. I like right off the bat, I mentioned reputation earlier. We typically think about our reputation at work, and your reputation is everything. It's gonna, it's the thing that is or isn't going to propel you forward if you have the right kind of reputation.
Now you're in the, you're in the running. So that's just the starting thing and absolutely essential. So for most of us, we think [00:48:00] about our reputation. We think, oh, I'm a, yeah, I probably have a pretty good reputation. I show up and I'm doing the best job I can, et cetera. But we don't think about, I wonder what it really is though, because we can't know
I know what I think inside my head what I'm trying to do, but my intentions and what's inside here isn't necessarily what's going on with other people's thoughts of me. So seriously, number one I would step forward and ask someone I trust in my professional sphere, I would ask a couple of people.
For candid feedback on my reputation. And I would tell them why I'm asking. You can't just ask, what do you think my reputation is? Cuz they're gonna think, are you gonna hold it against me if I like, should I lie here? Should I, is this safe? So you're gonna tell them, Hey, I really wanna be doing the best I possibly can.
And I think I'm doing well and I think I'm in good standing here, but I don't know. I wanna know what [00:49:00] it looks like from the outside. So just see if there's a couple of people who would be willing to be candid with you and give you the good, and give you the maybe not so good. And that in and of itself could just give you some marching orders on some things that you could work on and some things that you can iron out.
And that for some people, like that's gonna be the thing. And all of a sudden they start showing up a little bit differently and people start perceiving them a little bit differently and their reputation gets better and they, and they go on a list and the good list of their bosses. So that's a number one thing that I would say.
A number two thing is it's amazing how people again part of this could be linked to reputation, but it's really on your interaction skills. And for me, working with groups for so long, it's fascinating When you're with a group and. And I'm maybe facilitating a discussion and I'm asking a question and there's somebody who speaks up [00:50:00] all the time and there's somebody who never speaks up.
And so I, that's I would highly recommend that you really take a hard look at your interacting skills because if you're either one of those extremes, if you're the person who speaks up all the time, guess what? There are there. people out there who think you speak up too much, that it's just the thing because other people might be processors, so they just needed a couple of more seconds to think before they spoke up.
But because you're not you, because you're a quick processor you just you speak up first, and so they don't so if you have found yourself in that position a lot, I would say you start to give it another couple of beats so that you demonstrate to people that you're collaborative and not dominant.
You don't have a desire to be dominant, it's just your communication style versus theirs. And conversely, the other person who is a slow processor. . Then I'm gonna say, you gotta think of some ways as you start going [00:51:00] to your meetings where you can speak up more quickly. That might be some extra preparation ahead of time and finding out maybe what the main topics are gonna be and then formulating your thoughts on those and maybe a couple of points you wanna make before you get there.
So just interaction is people wanna inter, people wanna promote people who interact well with others. It just beside your I haven't hit the other piece, the technical piece. So number one, what's your reputation? Number two, what's your interaction? And number three, what's your technical prowess?
And that's table stakes, which is why I didn't even mention it, but that the idea is be sure you're good at your. be sure you're doing your job well, that you're technically executing on whatever it, and by technical I just mean the aspects of your, you might be a an illustrator.
You might be whatever you are. You, maybe you're in something with design. But there's always what, [00:52:00] how do we execute on the job? Are you executing on the job well? Are you doing it timely? Are you doing it quality? So be sure that those things are well are good and are solid.
So those would be, yeah, how am I doing on my job in general? What's my reputation and what's my interaction
Shawn Buttner: like? Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. Super solid. Sometime and it seems super common sense, but as we know from our mentor brand, share common sense isn't always common practice. Common
Mim Abbey: practice.
Yeah. We know that.
Shawn Buttner: I have one more kind of question about this in relation to how do you. Because we were, I feel like we're having two different conversations as I'm like processing as we go of this really great work of how do you advance in career or advance in life. It could be very interchangeable in that and living your authentic self.
Like how can I, as Sean, [00:53:00] engage in a reputation, engage in, or think about how I'm interacting and really do a good, do job at my job and do it authentically. I think that maybe be, might be the tie to merge those two conversations that we've having. Yeah. Do you have any thoughts on like, how do you find your authentic self that's not, that's su the sustainable, authentic self, not the just your.
I dunno, I'm trying to find the words. Just your normal, authentic stuff. I dunno, maybe there's a more, a third level of that sustainable authenticity. Yeah.
Mim Abbey: Yeah. And it's really right on. I, I the longer I am on earth, the more I really believe that just about everything comes down to practice.
Comes down to practice. And so the authentic self as I'd [00:54:00] mentioned it's actually associated with, or the true self is associated with some specific parts of the brain and you want to. You want to access those parts of the brain, and I gotta go back to meditation if you're not meditating or praying or whatever it is for you.
But I highly recommend that you engage in that because especially in our world today I reflect on this more than our parents or grandparents who the onslaught. The onslaught 24 7 25, 16. It's just like overload. There's information, there's talk, there's interaction, there's something coming at you.
And it's really easy, more than ever before to stay on the surface of life and to stay on the surface of yourself. And it takes a choice to turn off the devices like all of them [00:55:00] and to really give yourself some empty space. And that's scary for a lot of people who have not done that.
Who am I when I'm. Engaging in all my stuff that's on my screens, and, but I highly recommend it cuz who you are is . Let me cut to the quick. If anyone's listening to this and going, oh, I'm scared of that, I have good news for you. It's all good. It's all good. You it life is only gonna get better as you start giving yourself the chance to access your true self.
So what you want your true self available to you as you go throughout your days and you get in discussions with people and you get in tight situations and projects, whatever it is. And the more you practice accessing that true self, the more it's gonna be available to you.
So I really do recommend that you give yourself some quiet time, lots of great apps for this. You got the head space, you got calm, you. , all these apps out there that are available. But insight timer, I really [00:56:00] recommend that you do one that's not all talking all the time, but just that gives you a little bit of space.
If you wanna have a little music in the back or some ocean waves in the back, that's totally fine. But literally that just gives you a little quiet space. And just be sure that as your chatterbox thoughts are coming in, that you're allowing them just as any of those apps will teach you. The thoughts drifting and the thoughts can drift out and just give yourself that open space.
I have, honestly, Sean had some of my best brainstorms of new product ideas and just content ideas come out. They just like, boom. I. Come out of those meditative times. And it's not like I was thinking about them cuz I was actually concentrating on gi giving myself some, just giving myself a break and some open space.
And within that space boom, an idea came. So in and in solo success, we do it with soul practice. [00:57:00] And we do the soul practice thing that we do consistently Every day we do something we call success setting, which we do every day. And it just starts to train the brain to listen to, to access that true self.
Because it's true. It doesn't just happen. You can't say, okay, let me listen to my true self. If you're not in the, you gotta get yourself in the practice of it.
Shawn Buttner: Yeah, totally. And yeah, I love that it all comes down to quiet space. I am a huge believer and proponent of slowing down of I'm introverted, so of course I want the quiet spaces.
Yeah. And a lot more. But so I can step in and do things that expand energy or serve at a higher level. And I think at the end of the day, if you're living in your authentic self, you're able to give more that which helps your reputation, those interaction skills, and just helps you be better at your job.
[00:58:00] What a great way to wrap up a fantastic interview. Mim, how I'll have links below in the show notes for you, but what's the best way for people to follow up with you? If they'd like after this
Mim Abbey: podcast. Oh, that's great. Thank you, Sean. Yeah just reach out to us at info soul of success.com, info soul of success.com.
Would love to answer any questions and and talk with you whoever's interested. And we love supporting people who are looking to improve their lives and improve their careers. And Sean, I know one of the links will be gotta hot off the press workshop. That's a free on-demand workshop for getting those promotions called How to Win the Promotion and Accelerate Your Career.
So I'm gonna walk you through and I'll walk you through the process. So happy to really delighted if that is of help to you. But just reach out to me at any. . [00:59:00]
Shawn Buttner: Awesome. Awesome. Then thank you for your energy. Thank you for your presence. Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge about living into that true self and how that's been a through line through a lot of different chapters in your career in corporate and learning.
Always fantastic to talk with you, my friends. So thank
Mim Abbey: you so much. John, I love talking with you, love talking with your audience. So what a privilege to be here. I really, I'm really honored and let's do it again sometime.
Shawn Buttner: Absolutely. Absolutely. So with that, folks please be sure to, if you love this episode, a comment on Apple podcast that really helps us out.
Share this with three friends, if you would, if you found it helpful, and we'll see you in the next episode of the Meaningful [01:00:00] Revolution podcast. What is your meaningful revolution? On the podcast, we talk about people that have done a lot of work and getting clarity about what their mission is, what they find fulfillment, and what is helping them engage in their life.
And in the hopes of inspiring you to do so for yourself, but how do you go about doing that, right? Maybe you are new to personal development. Maybe you're new to wanting change in your life and you don't know how to get to that next step. Good news. I got a three day challenge for you that it'll help guide you through.
Just that. It's the meaningful revolution challenge, where we'll spend three days together, one hour each. We're on day one. We'll talk about clearly defining your personal, meaningful revolution, which is your fulfilling transformation. It's your purposeful impact. It's that authentic movement that gets you up and excited out of bed every morning to go [01:01:00] out and chase and create in the world.
Because I believe if we have more people living into their personal, meaningful revolut, That we will have a lot more people engaged in their lives, which helps us out in society. It helps us provide more for our families. It helps us feel better about our lives. And these are all things that we all strive for, right?
I feel like we all strive for joy, growth, and impact in life. And a lot of that revolves if you can achieve those three things, you have your personal meaningful revolution. So I'd love for you to join us in this free three day challenge, which is live. And like I said, on the first day, we'll go through clearly defining your personal meaningful revolution.
The second day we'll talk about building your plan and the components of that. So you. Know your next steps and follow through and fill a little bit of momentum there. And then the third day we'll talk about your commitment to that vision and habits, [01:02:00] strategies, tactics to help make sure you follow through.
I love doing these challenges because one, I get to know you guys more. I get to understand, ask you questions. There's a place each day for some question and answers and for some one-off coaching if you're struggling with something in particular. As a certified high performance coach, I am a coach first.
I love coaching people. It's my bread and butter, and it's not me telling you. What to do, but it's us co-creating and figuring out a solution together to whatever is getting in your way. Love to do that for you. Join us in the Meaningful Revolution Challenge by clicking on the link below, wherever you're watching or listening to this podcast.
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