Edits -Human Behavior Insights with Carly Pepin
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Shawn Buttner: [00:00:00] How do you know if you've found your purpose? Well, in today's episode of the Meaningful Revolution podcast, we interview Carly Pepin, a human behavior expert, about what goes into finding and creating purpose. living into your authentic life, your meaningful revolution, your purpose. And it's a great interview.
We talk about clarity. We talk about the stories we tell ourselves. We talk about a ton of different topics related to purpose and getting clear and having mindsets that support and serve you. So again, I'm Shawn Buttner, the host of the Meaningful Revolution podcast. I'm really excited for this interview.
Discussion we're going to have with Kylie here. She's amazing. So let's jump into it.
Shawn Buttner: (intro) Hey, everyone. [00:01:00] Welcome to the Meaningful Revolution podcast. I'm here with our guest Carly Pepin and Carly, how are you doing today?
Carly Pepin: Yeah, I'm
great. Thank you for having me, Shawn.
Shawn Buttner: today talking about human behavior and I'd love to know, how did you get interested in studying human behavior and becoming a human behavior expert?
Carly Pepin: Yeah, so it definitely stemmed from my own personal challenges.
I had a lot
of
things that I was struggling through when
I was growing up. I was
frustrated. With some situations that had occurred, perceived traumas that we have and those really had an impact on me and then just a lot of other things as well.
I was doing quite well
within business
actually doing quite well within the industry that I was working in. So that was inspiring and it's getting the house and getting the car and all that fun stuff. And I just still wasn't feeling really
satisfied
I wasn't satisfied with myself, how I looked.[00:02:00]
I wasn't satisfied with relationships. That was a big deal for me. And I just remember thinking that it was the city I lived in,
which was Los Angeles.
lots of people probably
relate.
A
of people blame LA, but it's
not
LA. I learned that one. So I moved to another country, I moved to Australia for a year, and when I got there, it immediately became apparent, immediately.
Because I was all by myself, I didn't have the friends, I didn't have family, no distractions, right? And in a sense, that was it, I was like, I feel worse. Like I'm in this gorgeous country
opportunity
a lifetime and actually feel worse than I've ever felt before and that's when I realized
that everything comes from the
right and it's how I was perceiving things in the world and my own personal challenges.
So it was great because it gave me a great level of responsibility and that's when I found
my first coach.
so I found my first coach and she started teaching me about human behavior principles, understanding our purpose, our values, what is important to us. And that's actually what helped me start to transform through anxiety.
[00:03:00] the depression that I was having and some eating disorder challenges that I was having as well was actually just
getting more
track with my life purpose and what that looked like. So because I was getting such phenomenal results in such a short period of time,
I was like,
I want to teach this,
So that's when
it
really started. And ever since then, it's just spiraled and carried on and continued.
Shawn Buttner: Right on.
Yeah. I've found, as a coach myself, so many people have that moment of awareness of oh, , like you keep dating the wrong person, one common denominator. It's oh, it's me. Or. why, like you said, I felt the same way in a different situation environment and that's the kind of like to action or call to adventure to be like, okay, time to decide to do something So I just want to cheer you on for that. That's amazing. so I guess really for the audience, how would you define human behavior? Why is it psychology? Is it?that's a, maybe a little [00:04:00] bit more of an abstract term and, I think everyone might have an idea of what it is, but, could we get maybe some clarity around that?
Carly Pepin: For sure. so it's actually what I love about it for me in how I view it is the philosophical principles put into a concrete form,
right? So we listened to
like a Carl Young. We have an Aristotle, the Heraclitus,
those individuals in the world
have created some really inspiring things to make us think about life and why things happen.
And, What causes things to happen the way that they're causing, like even Ralph Waldo Emerson, a lot of
his writing does
same. So what I love about modern day is that there's ways to put all this stuff into practical application in a way that it can be life transformative. So we all are governed
own self.
We're governed by a
certain set of principles
values, priorities that we live by. And I'm not talking about being honest.
if I push your life purpose,
the biggest liar on the face of the planet to make sure that I don't take away your reason for existence,
right?
But if I push you and
to take away that life purpose, you are
going to take me down, and [00:05:00] rightfully so challenging something that's important. So we all have both sides, but what is it that drives us to engage in
side or the other? Is there a unique set of priorities, the priorities that we live by the values that we have, it's our own unique North star.
fascinating thing. And when we get into that, all of a sudden we're like, Oh, it makes sense. Like
we,
might judge our behavior and you go in and it's actually makes sense that's the way I was in that moment. That's the
way I was acting or behaving based
the circumstances and principles that were coming
forward.
I have a client and he loves business, loves the business that he owns. And it was really interesting because he was, he's usually quite
friendly. with his employees
and they have a great culture at the company,
right? But then there's
particular employee that had a lot of foresight and a lot of wording from himself and managers to not do this one particular thing.
And it costs the company a lot of money. And now he's struggling to ensure that he can hold on to other people's jobs.
He wound up quitting, which is great.
It saves him
some cash, but
it's he's frustrated that his boss isn't being nice to him. while [00:06:00] you weren't listening,
now you've impacted
a significant quantity of individuals lives their livelihood.
And
so I don't really care how you feel right
now.
Shawn Buttner: And that's the priority.
Carly Pepin: And that's that component.
It's We're going to be super nice
something is being fulfilled, that's
to us. And then all of a sudden, if you're not, we're going to be really tough and
really mean,
both sides are necessary. Also in that like dynamic, it's like humbling ourselves and know if we are that employee, Oh my gosh, I
did do
that is potentially causing like damage or injury to other people's jobs.
what does that mean to me? Humble yourself enough to know maybe you're not the smartest person in the company. And there's a reason why we have teams. We
have teams,
we can all keep track
of
other, including that. CEO by the way, he
has teams, so
track of,
it. Or she. In this case, it's
a he. it's like humbling ourselves enough to know, and that kind of dives into when we think about human behavior, the universal law component, right?
There are
things that We cannot, deconstruct within
universe, right? There's things that we cannot get [00:07:00] rid of. We consistently try to get rid of conflict, yet there's no person on this planet that has ever
been
conflict Not one person. Not one Not one organization. Not one country. And so then it's the better question to ask, if for the entirety of our human existence, we've never been able to get rid of it, right? What is the actual purpose that the universe is providing, right? Why is it actually there? When we go into the details of conflict, like what's really fun in relationships, which pay attention, you'll
see that sometimes you're saying things that you've
holding back. Sometimes we don't even think about important things because we're so busy doing other stuff that all of a sudden it comes out in a conflict.
and you think sometimes, why was I not bringing
this up before? And it's Oh, I just didn't have the, I just didn't have
time.
thank goodness
had this conflict or it never would have come up. So it's really interesting
when we see how conflict serves us
that smaller scale within our relationships, our business, our personal business with our friends, we can also start to see how it's serving on a larger scale and creating [00:08:00] transformation.
And then you realize why it's never gone away.
Because it serves
purpose and those are the universal laws. So when we combine our own life purpose and understand why we attract
that we do, because if we're trying to go against what's just set in stone,
but it's really hard.
why it's why sometimes you're like, I
feel like this
an unachievable goal, right?
Sometimes it genuinely is an unachievable goal because
it goes against
universal law principle of all pleasure, no pain. There's no goal
that doesn't have both sides. human behavior when combined with all these different dynamics
really gives us
edge in life, right? It's actually quite, it's fun.
It's really enjoyable. It's,
You can start predicting things like
my husband, he does the workshops and some stuff with me as well. So we do
some
work together, but we'll predict things where we'll see like maybe a client disconnects and I'll say, I'll be
Like watch what happens. I'll be like I guarantee
it was like, I tried to get him to work on
it, but
couldn't get him to work on it.
And I was
like
if you connect with [00:09:00] him first, see if you can get him to work on it. Cause I guarantee this is going to happen. And then all of a sudden it happens. I'm not
a prophet
It's just predictable based on these like mathematical equations within ourselves and
with the universal laws.
Shawn Buttner: yeah, I absolutely love that. I love the call out that, to not judge whether a behavior is good or bad. Like it just, I view the world as a series of unintended consequences and reactions.
And so weighing out that, reaction chain of told you not do it, you did it, now there's a lot of impacted, now I'm mad at you, now you're mad at me for being mad at you, and that whole thing, is an illustration of maybe it was a risk and it would have been, if it worked out, would have been great for the company, alas, it didn't work out.
so yeah, I love callout, I love the There's a a lot of information in there, so I'm trying to get the hamster to catch up here.
Carly Pepin: lot of info.
Shawn Buttner: I love teaching, obviously. so, I heard that values are part of human [00:10:00] behavior. heard that prioritization is part of human behavior.
I heard you talk about purpose, right? Which are amazing, I love these topics. the podcast is called The Meaningful Revolution to help people find purpose and inspire them explore it, could you maybe talk about how one can find their values? Or find their priorities.
Cause talking about clarity as a coach, this is all I do is find out what your priorities are and then find out how you're not talking in congruence them. that's basically if I had to boil down my work, Hey, you say this, you're doing this, or you think this, where's the bridge here?
Carly Pepin: Yeah. this is really beautiful because I was just working with an individual who, she really, it's obvious that she really values business finances solely based on the
fact that if I look at what her life Demonstrates right
Shawn Buttner: because
Carly Pepin: we can tell what our life
is based
on
it demonstrates.
she's saving money, she lives in a place that, she could afford a [00:11:00] lot more, but instead she's putting it aside, she's looking at investment properties, she's looking at purchasing like a nice place to rent out while she lives in a small one, small bedroom in
a shared space, right? Like she can totally afford to live there
her own, she's choosing not to. What is she showing me? She's showing me she's
prioritizing
finances, right? She's prioritizing building her wealth and creating financial independence, right? Then there's individuals who maybe spend money, right?
So there could be someone who like,
I love fashion guys, 100%.
I've been reading Vogue magazine since
I was 12 years old.
it just, and I've been a subscriber since that, that long, which is amazing. I look at all the photography and the fashion and love
it so much. So for me,
Do I prioritize finances? Yes.
Did I
to Italy and set aside a significant quantity of money to shop?
Absolutely. there's no way I'm not going to be able to do that. Like straight up, I love shopping in Europe.
So whenever I'm like [00:12:00] traveling, I'm like,
okay, here's your travel budget and here's your shopping budget. So that my life demonstrates. That's actually genuinely important to me. It's not something that I'm going to be able to stop doing.
I could sit here and judge myself that I'm not saving as much money as her, but when I had tried that, I actually didn't feel as fulfilled. So my goal was, okay, how do I make more money so I could save more?
It's asking the quality questions to see how you can increase your savings how you can increase your investing
if not important
to you because some people I know wake up every day And they're going to prioritize Spending money on their kids,
And that's your top priority.
First, understand why you're doing what you're doing. And then we can find out different ways to create income
off of it
Because even when you say it's like, how
do you create
off of what you love?
About, 20 years I realized not only did I love shopping, but I
was really good at sales shopping and
can
buy
really nice things on sale wear it for a decade sometimes two decades and still sometimes sell it for [00:13:00] more on eBay
That's the skill that I have.
and so it's like how can you make money doing what you love?
I love that.
when people look at me and they say why would you
for something. not done with
it yet.
do you create an
income? doing what you love. Now that's a small
trying to
do it in a better way so I can make more
money.
But even your kids
like do you create an income spending time with your kids and doing what you love? And I have one client who they're really nurturing their kid. Their kid's about eight years old and.
definitely knows what
he wants
do in his life. And they're really pushing and nurturing him to create that opportunity. And if he carries forward, he will make money in the next couple
of years. And so even here's
mom
who's destined to be a mom. Like taking care of this kid and investing that time and she'll
create a profit off
that.
she creates a
by helping manage that. And the same with the dad, and the dad to get
this
started,
it's going
cost them cash, but the dad's been working on
the backend
make
So now he's a venture capital. He's doing venture
capital for the
time.
And he gets to do it with his [00:14:00] son. So
it's
because like
We really put
restrictions on ourselves because we're like, I can't do what I love and get paid,
right? it's what are you doing every day
that lights you up that feeds your soul? Right things that you genuinely love and where is there someone
there that actually wants that product or service? And how can you create something that could bring that together? One of my favorite stores in Canada that I go shopping at, I'm going to give them a shout out because they're awesome boldly. If you go to Vancouver, what also makes them so fun to go visit it's a mom and two daughters.
And so there's these three girls who love fashion
and you walk in and you just don't get this like cool store, but you have these three girls who, they're talking to me about my trip to Italy and they're like,
did you go here? Did you go here? Because they're
around the world,
shopping for their
clothing store.
So they're being paid to shop with their family. They have a high priority on family. A high priority on business and finances and a high priority on fashion and they're getting paid for it [00:15:00] all.
So
Shawn Buttner: Yeah.
Carly Pepin: And what do you love? And every day you're gonna see those bits and pieces and then it's like, Where's their business there?
It's really fun. So our life
demonstrates our life purpose and
up to us to really like, feel it.
Shawn Buttner: I would call it like living in authenticity. And when you're living, you're living into your values and your purpose.
And fun thing about that is you were just saying, once you know what that is and you are operating out in the world, it's a problem solving exercise of like, how do I build and create my life around these things that are important to me to make it work for me? And having that intention and awareness is so important because if you just went to Italy without having Oh, I know that I'm going to go shopping and I'm gonna do whatever you come back and you're like I can't pay my bills for the next five years cuz I Got all cool good stuff and I love it.
But like I went overboard There wasn't an intention or [00:16:00] and it's inauthentic in trying to build wealth for you and your family in the future so So often being authentic is being aware of the different areas holistically in our life that are important Yeah, and then doing that problem solve how do I build my life to make sure I'm taking care of all of it?
Because it's like I'm sure if you're like, oh, I don't want to build wealth anymore, but it is still important to you That's when people feel depressed feel anxious or you feeling guilty about doing the things you love so yeah, I just, I love that example of of pulling it all together.
And in a lot of ways, that's what I hope the Meaningful Revolution is for everyone. personal Meaningful Revolution is living in that authentic, lifestyle.
Carly Pepin: yeah.
Shawn Buttner: so I'm curious then, you started coaching, you work in a bunch of, different areas in your business,clarity, mindset, and purpose.
Could [00:17:00] you? do you have any ideas or tips people on if you're like, I'm just out there living my life. I haven't ever really thought of why I do the things I do, why I find things fun some things not like how maybe organize start getting a little bit clarity on, their purpose.
Carly Pepin: I think you hear a lot of people say I don't know. I can't
figure it
You're just not asking yourself
questions.
if you get to something where you say, I don't know, it's what's a different question I can ask myself right now to get a different
answer.
And you just keep asking
questions. You're eventually going
to get
answer, like genuinely. sometimes
sometimes.
if I'm going through a challenge
and I'm uncertain
what the root cause is. I will literally just sit
on
a wall. I'll be on a walk,
walking
dog
and my brain, it just keeps going
after question and be like, that doesn't make sense.
That's not logical. Question after
question. Sometimes I'll WhatsApp my friends and we'll
talk things out, out loud. And I'm like, wait, I said this. And I said [00:18:00] this, and this doesn't make sense. When I tell you like, There's a level of awareness. You can pay attention to yourself to understand what's going on there.
it's just that we don't think that way. It's easier to be a victim of circumstances.
It's easier to say this is so and so's fault.
This is
of the biggest lessons that I've ever learned
We cannot avoid anything
When we think we get rid of
somethingIt's actually come forward in a new form. Yeah. It's insane. Like you, and this was a really inspiring thing to go through. you could look at verbal criticism. Everyone, this is a great exercise to do. You could go for the first person who you ever knew verbally criticized you and how hard it was on you.
Usually it's mom or dad or sibling or something. Then after they're out of
your life, I want you to see where it came in And then after that person's out
your life, where did it come in next?
next and next
all the way up until today.
And you're going to look and you're going to be like, I was under the illusion
that I could disconnect from this and I got rid of it. And now I see
that I didn't. And it's Oh my gosh,
crazy. So part of understanding [00:19:00] purpose is also seeing the gifts in your life. And what I love about personal development is when we see how things that we've gone through, those challenges, the thing that you can't get rid of, which is
verbal criticism is a great
I know it's a common trigger for many people. but when we see we can't get rid of that, but how it serves
us. Then all of a sudden what
happens is it no longer impacts us. We find the purpose it brings to our lives. So a great quality question to ask is even in a moment that you're getting verbally criticized is like, how is it serving me right now?
how is it serving me? Sometimes we're very full of pride.
Sometimes
very puffed up with ourselves and someone comes in to criticize us because we're not meant
to be above people We're not meant to be below people,
right? You're not actually meant to be
superior, but you're also not meant to act inferior, right?
You're just meant to be yourself. And the truth is we're
all equal
Anything that I see in someone else I have
in me, but
person I meet
has
same qualities. a great example, I may have a home and a beautiful home, but. Remember, [00:20:00] I prioritize and I have a higher value on finances, but when I went, I remember there's
this really cool guy, Brian, he's
homeless, but he's super cool.
Homeless guy in Santa Monica. But what he does is he coordinates with
the local
and he's a pillar and a leader within the homeless community.
And so when he collects food and
towels and whatever, like anything, money, he goes and then the community comes together and he splits it between everyone in the community.
he technically could have a surplus,
but
a leader in that community. And that's where he's a pillar, right? He does that to a greater degree than I am.
who's superior and who's in fear? I just have a different value
system.
I get paid for my services in monetary form and he gets paid in community.
That's it.
have a different value. So when I'm coming out and I'm puffed up and I'm superior, I will attract a circumstance or circumstances
to humble me, to
me back
down to size.
a lot of why we [00:21:00] attract that verbal criticism. And when it impacts us, there's a level that we agree with
it. So yes, back in the day,
used to have
really bad body dysmorphia, really bad. So
significantly better now. and yeah, so working through it
cause
eight, I'm aging, by the way. So
for all of us
who know about aging, I'm like, I was fine with this before. What's wrong now? And I was like, Oh, you're aging Carly,
New body
dysmorphia. welcome to
to life.
it's been really to tackle, but there was a time where someone couldn't actually See to
me like if you said
me I was unattractive or I was, I looked a little heavy in something, I would just break down. Like
it would impact me
much because I was judging myself for my own appearance. When I stopped judging those parts of me, you could sit there and just, you look at me right now
and be like
fat Carly. I'd be like, I am a little chubby right now, that's what it is. And that's what I do. I'm like, whatever it is, what it is like, that's life. Like
it doesn't impact me
So remember too is when we're getting criticized, and we're impacted by what they're saying.
[00:22:00] There's a level that we agree to a certain degree, and we have guilt and shame for what they're sharing. So it's
a really beautiful
of reflective component, right? So that's how we can dive in and see. So again, it's like, how is that serving us in that moment?
Did it help us to use our voice? And then we can see the purpose of our life when we start to dive into the purpose and priorities of us as unique individuals. Again, this just goes straight back to what does your life demonstrate? What did you wake up and do this morning?
How did you spend your morning? How did you spend your day?
what's actually important to you. And I can see that there's going to be things that you're procrastinating on, which means it's not as important to you and whatever you replaced it with is.
So that's a cool thing to pay attention to because a lot of people judge themselves for procrastination But if you're not doing it, you don't want to
There's nothing wrong with that. It's seeing why you don't want to do it
sometimes we
get to drop it
because we don't need it at all. You look and you're like,
don't even have to
do this.
Why am I
even thinking [00:23:00] I have to, right? And we
could drop it completely.
Or again, there's other times where it's no, this is actually necessary for my life or my business.
What's an alternative solution.
And just a great example is I was just working with
someone on marketing
and they were holding back on marketing and they weren't doing digital marketing.
And then when we looked
person does not like digital
Where is she an amazing marketer on live events? And I
was like, you
a
a lot of live events planned. Where else
you do live events? Can you start marketing
there and not be your platform? And she's yeah, that makes me feel more relaxed. And I was like, of course it does, because I'm not forcing you
to live outside
life
purpose.
So
funny enough, stuck that this is what we should do
or have to
do. We're not seeing the alternative. of solutions where we already have like mastery and genius.
Oh, I don't need you to be a digital marketing. You're already a master in marketing a lot. let's get you live,And
then she's inspired by that.
Hey, how are you feeling about marketing I got it.
I'm really lit up. I was like, okay, good. [00:24:00]
Shawn Buttner: So the
question
I have about,
you
were just saying is, Maybe I'll state a beliefI believe that we choose our purpose. Our purpose doesn't just walk around and one day us upside the head and you're like, Oh, I'm supposed to build this big fashion I'm supposed to be a musician, and saying that, I think I'll try to organize it. So we'll start with purpose. I also wanted talk about motivation because there's a couple of points that you're talking about related to that. But, so with procrastination, right?
The equation I had in my head if your purpose is strong enough, you'll do uncomfortable things. if your purpose and your marketing is strong enough, like I personally don't like social media myself. But I do some of it because I know that it serves my mission, helping get the word out, hopefully inspiring people to follow their hearts a bit more, get more clear on that.
how do you react to, do you agree or disagree with the idea that choose your [00:25:00] purpose? And that maybe the goal then is to make sure that is greater than the distractions, the things that you don't want to do, but maybe have to do. because like you said, sometimes our ego gets in the way.
It's I have to do this. But really, it's just causing you more distraction from the main thing, So there's another question now of how do you decide, What's something you have do that's hard, you just don't want to do, but purpose is big enough pull you across that line, versus something that is preventing you from
There's a lot I just threw in there.
Carly Pepin: that.
So yeah, when we think about like, our purpose is created, this is really interesting because technically like
it is
choice, but then it's also a challenge, right?
So if I think about
challenge that I went through as a kid to start to love fashion, it came from my biggest pains,
my my biggest pains.
And so I was
the cute kid.
and I dressed cute. And everyone would say it, all the family [00:26:00] members say, Carl is so cute, Carl is so cute, right? And obviously there's my superego get built.
And I'm like, this is the best thing ever. Then
all of a sudden when I was about 12 ish, right? I started to gain a lot of weight, like a lot.
And I became obese. And now nobody's telling me I'm cute anymore.
wear the clothes that I used to wear anymore. And I'm like, and I'm feeling really disconnected. It's at the time when friends are starting to like, talk about boys and stuff. Nobody's interested in me. Cause I'm just like now, in my perception, this is
I was calling myself, a fat, ugly kid, right? That's it. So that was a really big challenge. That's about the time I started looking at Vogue magazines. the things that, I don't read the magazine too often. It's really political now.
used to be, honestly.
It's
very political
now,
back in the day when I would
read it, the main
I was reading as a kid,
I would look at the fashion.
I would look at the styling cause I really wanted to see like how people put things together to look good, their hair, their makeup, everything. But then I would also look at the specific components of the [00:27:00] health.
So when they would talk about
weight loss
or
exercise, I remember being like, I wonder what they're saying.
I wonder how
they do it. So now all of a sudden, because
I'm in so much
pain and feeling so much challenge. By this loss of something that I perceived
was necessary, right? That I'm starting to build this value and
to learn about health and wellness. And funny enough, shortly after I did learn more about health
and
I started
to exercise.
I
to learn about dieting in the sense of like
how to eat more appropriately, like what
of day to eat, how to monitor my eating, how to not eat.
was eating like four cheeseburgers a meal.
there's a reason I wasn't, but it's Oh, you only have one cheeseburger.
Like you can't do that.
And it's like all this stuff
to learn. And so here I
chose. the route of health. That was a choice that I made.
could
have chosen anything in that moment, right? That challenge
have spiraled me to maybe become more outgoing in school and maybe be like the class clown and have that speaking component [00:28:00] and be
Shawn Buttner: more
Carly Pepin: engaged there.
Push me to just study to a greater degree and hunker down and be like, I'm just going to do my own thing.
I made the choice.
we do make the choices. It's like
part of our soul's journey
to choose the fashion, the beauty, and the health component, which really is transition.
Cause back then, I guess this is where Vogue magazine gave me some good information. it was about health. It was, if you want it to be beautiful, you better get healthy.
And so now in my
health is so important.
Oh my gosh, it's so important. This is like one good lesson I got from this thing.
So it's really interesting to
see how that formulates, but it would never have even happened
if I didn't have the
and the misperception of the pain of feeling ugly
and
rejected. So it's we have the pain. And then however, we feel. choose to formulate that into the purpose that we have in our life
is the
step.
And what's
like the
important.
and teaching.
It's beauty from the inside out.
And the better you
on the inside, the better you look on the outside. Like
you feel [00:29:00] it. Like you walk
by someone, I don't care what they look like.
It doesn't matter what they look like.
You could have any
type of deformity,
up on the inside, I want to talk to you.
I want to connect with you.
I want to be around you. I'm magnetized to you. You're, it's like we glow,
And so it's funny when I
about human behavior. Of course, it's something that I love.
It's like beauty from the inside out by being authentic, being yourself, lighting up
your soul.
Everyone has this level
of connection and perfection in their life.
everyone
this level of my life can follow a, B, C, D, E, F, G, like all the way up until today.
and
can really unravel like the perfection of your experiences in your life, your decisions,
your choices, your your perceptions to such a
degree. And then you sit here today and you're like,
Oh like everything makes sense.
that's also brings you a state of awe into the magnificence of not just life in general, but our life, which makes you more [00:30:00] grateful for your life.
And when you're more grateful, you just attract more to be grateful for, So it's yeah, when we think about that purpose and that creation, part
of it is definitely understanding
your biggest pains. are the driver of the things that you actually love the most
today.
definitely the driver.
And it's interesting because if you go back and you actually go
through that detail, you'd be like, ah, I
have taken that a lot of different ways, but I chose this way. How interesting is that? Yeah. And that's like us as unique
human beings. Human beings are
one of the most magnificent species on the planet. Genuinely. So inspiring humans.
Shawn Buttner: infinitely unique and different and yeah, so much to learn. so I wanted to get into the motivation part behind purpose, right?
So something that I kept hearing throughout our conversation so far has maybe been this idea of the stories we tell ourselves and how that sometimes is a driver for motivation for change in your story. Like you had [00:31:00] idea of yourself, you had An idea that maybe you lost that, maybe backed by evidence of the number cheeseburgers made or not, and then there was that pain drove motivation to be like, how do I change this?
Get some new information in your life. discover health is the way, and then away you go. I think that's a pretty common path of you
believe something about yourself or you have a story about yourself. Something comes in conflict with that, and then new action is taken. when it comes to human motivation,
and behavior, what are behaviors that people have to keep them motivated, driving that purpose forward, in ways that are healthy and sustainable, you could go and work out. and run for the next straight, like Forrest Gump.
It's going to really bad on your body. you might have some malnutrition stuff. You might beat up all your joints. So maybe not the best idea, even though health is super important. not [00:32:00] sustainable. So could you maybe talk about, human behaviors in terms of sustainable motivation? That's
Carly Pepin: is This is really cool.
If you have a value on health and you truly value it, you're probably still going to go run and you're probably going to beat up your body.
But then on the back end,
know you're going to be researching a lot of stuff. You're probably the person who
has regular chiropractor. You might
a regular nutritionist.
It's LeBron James. Spends a million dollars a year on his health.
Shawn Buttner: A million dollars a year on his health.
Carly Pepin: Why? Why would he do that?
Is it necessary? Is he probably testing out some things that don't work and
some things that do work?
For sure. We're just seeing someone who is investing in
their health.
So he doesn't want to
stop running. He doesn't want to stop competing. So he's
to find all the ways to tackle it and do the best that he possibly can. When something's important to you, you figure out how to sort
it
You figure it out.
I love business and I love creating business, but I also [00:33:00] love like exercising and stuff too. So I require more sleep when people sometimes talk about, I only sleep five hours. I'm like, you clearly do not work out the
way I do. And then when I tell them, they're
no,
no.
And I tell them
how
I work out and they're like,
you need
get some sleep.
And I'm
like, yeah.
So I
out how to structure my life in such a way
that I can get that
Spend time with my family, work on my business, still create wealth, build finances, do all the things that I love. And my magic, No, I just am focused on everything that's important to me. That's it. So if I know that it's important to me, I make sure to make it happen.
It doesn't become a question of will I wake up
and do it?
why wouldn't I wake up and do it? Because if I don't do it, I'm going to lose it. What is the cost of me not doing it? It's too valuable for me. So when we think about motivation, we need motivation for things that are not inspiring to us, right?
I require motivation
home repair stuff.
I am
not, it's not my cup of tea, [00:34:00] and I'm not allowed to do it anymore.
My husband, my laugh, everything that I've done.
if look around my office right now, I'd be hysterical sometimes. I just want to show people
the damage cause of the simplest thing that you could
have done on the planet.
I'm not allowed to touch
it anymore
It's all delegated,
right?
So if he's
able to do it, like we're just delegating it to no one else, Carly can't touch it.
So it's such a low priority
such a low value that
I literally have
like really messed things up doing. When I say the simplest
task possible, the
task, I just call it Home Depot.
Shawn Buttner: it.
Carly Pepin: So it's really
I have no motivation to study it. I have no motivation. to learn it. I have no inspiration to learn it. I don't wake up at all, like setting any of those components where I have a client who is an architect and a builder and every day he wakes up and he loves it.
Like he is my antiparticle. It's his life purpose.
and he's can't imagine not reading a book, like about like new technologies and construction. And I'm like, Great. That just sounds like my nightmare,
right? [00:35:00] Where he can't imagine reading
books that
I read. So it's like you are genuinely inspired and you pursue
you find the time for things that are truly important to you.
And we're basically ignorant. We're pretty, it just,
it is, sometimes
we don't like to call ourselves stupid, incredibly stupid.
ignorant, stupid, gullible, like in areas
that we have no control over.
background we don't care about, right?
Like
just not a priority and a value. And that's cool because we can look at our lives and be like, where am I motivated?
Where am I inspired?
Where
I really organized, diligent? What can people rely on me for? And then when we look at it, it's got a
a common theme and you're like.
Oh my gosh. Those are all the
things that like I
doing the most.
That's your purpose, that's what you love.
And everything else that you've been beating yourself up for trying to do are things that you don't love.
And so it's really getting deep into those questions to be like, okay, if I'm not motivated to do this,
why?
Why
I wanna
move forward with. Now here's the other key and why it's so important to know what [00:36:00] your purpose is, I love health, wellness. We know that. I love teaching. I've shared that with
you, right?
Shawn Buttner: I also
Carly Pepin: love family. All that's like
when we talk about my values, my business, my family, like my health and wellness and building wealth. Like those are all my
priorities.
That's my life just surrounds. Like I'm just
by that.
That's what I've created for myself. If I don't want to do
something
And it's actually quite necessary, right? Which
sometimes it is
probably more so I'm going to have to do this more when I have kids, I think,
especially if I have a
kid
who's into sports, because they're going to make me get up at four
in
morning.
I know sports parents,
I'm like, Oh, I don't want to do that. but I want to help my kids, Pursue it. So I
will sit there and I'll do all the benefits
over and over again to my teaching,
to my business,
my health. It's easy to see to my family. If it's my kid, if I had to get up at four in the morning, And
I had to do that Monday through Friday
to make sure that they get that opportunity. And I'll do that until I
see so many links that now there's a greater why right
Now I [00:37:00] have a purpose for it.
And I like to do it until I get a tear of inspiration, a tear of gratitude for being like, man, I did not see the possibility
of
driving my kids to their sports classes at four in the morning. And once you see it, you're like, Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Like I didn't see it. It's there. I just didn't see it.
So if there's something that it's necessary for you
to
which I know we all
have that
there. if you break it down and you're like, Is this genuinely necessary, which sometimes is saving money and investing, right? You could ask yourself this question. This is how I increase my value on being able to save.
How does saving, just saving, not spending it, not saving it to spend later, but only saving it,
serve me in my life purpose. And what
the greatest gift, which I even see today is the level of comfort you have when you have security blankets and cushions.
I don't want to pull from it.
And
there's a savings account that I don't want to touch and it just sits there,
but
that it's there. It's there and it makes me feel safer to take risks.
it makes
[00:38:00] feel safer to just it's just like safer in general. if something happens in the world, I'm like, I still have some cash, right?
I
have all that liquidity. that's awesome. And that's one of the greatest opportunities it gives you.
And then also when I'm talking to
who are doing quite well financially, I feel wealthy because I have all this wealth behind me. And it doesn't matter how much it is, it's how it
That's how it makes you feel.
And so that's
I say We don't ask that question. So we'll be like, why should I put money away? Why do I need to save? that's why we're not saving. So if you keep asking those questions and I use money in this example,
It helps us feel financially secure. It helps
us feel
comfortable and stable and less stressed out. And this is the one
thing that I'm like,
I know it might not be your life purpose, but try to bump it up.
our world functions.
It's what do I
truly prioritize?
And if it's learning and reading and education,
it's like how
savings
serve that, if it's my kids,
to savings for that. If it's fashion,
how
savings for that, but not to spend it
or else you'll save it and spend it. It can't be extended.
to watch it grow.
Yeah.
Shawn Buttner: Right on. [00:39:00] Awesome.
I can tell that you're really, geeking out on some personal finance stuff.
Carly Pepin: Yeah,
Shawn Buttner: You probably do, yeah.
Carly Pepin: fun. it's
really
to, I think, cause when I started to learn how much it was involved in like
human behavior, there's a lot of fun books like, the market crash books and stuff like where they,
the
Lehman brothers book is really fun because it's more about the personal development and like human behavior side of it and why the business failed
And we get to
where we got really puffed up.
And
it's you're just
walking around yeah. you're the ship basically, and you can do whatever
you want,
then all of a sudden, here comes the universe to remind you, I don't think so, my friend.
that's not how life works.
and you see where people like get lackadaisical, and they just, Stop putting in implements
like processes
procedures
the test of time, by the way,
like in business and with people and hiring, just because they're doing so well.
Like when we do so well, we get complacent and we get really proud and high in [00:40:00] a sense.
And that's
we start to get humbled. So yeah. So business and finances,
it's not just.
finances.
when I started to do the links, I was like, Oh my gosh, there's so much more to it than I ever had understood. And now I love reading business books and I love reading finance books.
Like I love it so much.
And it
just shows us psychology, like so good. So if you love psychology, business and finances books, they got it in there.
Shawn Buttner: I'm a big, business nerd myself. I would definitely recommend it. what are some behaviors or tips you could give people to maybe change their own behaviors to help them excel?
As I performance coach, I'm not concerned about just getting by. I want people to thrive. I want people to. reach that level of excellence or mastery in whatever they're doing. do you have any idea of maybe some common behaviors you've identified that really people live into that greatness or great life?
Carly Pepin: Yeah. And I think it's funny cause it's like [00:41:00] the name of the podcast, like some stuff, some meaningful,
right?
we want life to be meaningful cause
then we feel
fulfilled and inspired. So literally the best tool is to make your life meaningful by filling it with meaningful So I do like to schedule out my days.
I really like scheduling them out because I want to make sure
that every day is filled with meaningful to me
genuinely meaningful. Now, not to say you're not going to hit road
bumps
to do all this other
stuff.
So
today is my
day, which is what it is. It just is what it is. It's a real special time.
funny is I can go back and see,
I might have
been able to actually
curb it had I stopped
else. But
I
know. I really want to finish this.
Like I was
playing for podcasts
doing
some post stuff and like business stuff.
Maybe it'll be fine. So I take the risk and I'm like, maybe it'll be fine. And it wasn't fine.
I plan my day every day to do things that inspire me, but also I just want to be clear.
sometimes things come up.
Sometimes things
come to mind. If I could have delegated this, [00:42:00] I would have. I don't live in LA anymore. I live in a smaller town. It's very hard to delegate here. So
if I did delegate, it
take at least a couple days to up to
a week.
by that time, my whole house is be filled ants, right? But
if I was in LA, I probably would have significantly larger resources to delegate in the moment.
And it's something I would delegate, right?
it's paying attention to that too, because I know depending on where you live and the resources
you have access to, this changes it.
So this is one of those
crazy days.
Otherwise I have a specific plan for this day to do exactly what I would love to do. Now, I'm still going to do all the things that I love
I'm going to look at my list, which I already have, and I'm going
to say, out of
all the things that I would love to do today, and I have
the list
things that I would love to do and meant to do that would serve my business
and
finances, my life.
Okay. which ones are the highest priority? Cause I hit a little bit of a speed bump, right?
And I'll
make sure now for the rest of the week, I'll go through my little calendar schedule. I like to use things. My husband likes a handwritten journal, some people just like Apple calendar,
some people, they, everyone [00:43:00] does
different.
do whatever is the easiest for you
that you're gonna open it,
Whatever's going to make you open it. So I'll go through mine and I'll adjust
for the next couple of days to see like how I can make sure all these other things will be fit in. But I'm very organized in my schedule and I'm very organized in my life because then I ensure that it happens.
I know that it's going to do it. I know that it's going to be there and I
cannot stress
enough. Even when I'm working, no matter who I'm working with, it's if I don't get on the phone with them and they don't seem lit up by their life,
then we're going to
sit there and we're going to make sure that you're making time for the things that light you up.
And we're going to start doing that process. I was telling you guys
linking it
see how it serves your purpose on the things that they're having to do that we can't get rid of yet.
It's let's see how that serves you. I can tell you the
Today I was, it was funny cause after it did, I was like, this is perfect.
I really want to listen to that audio book and I finished it.
I was like, yes.
though I was
I still got what I wanted.
[00:44:00] Next I'm calling my husband
because I was like, I really want to tell him
So all of it still, if I can see, it. How it's on the way. Can you see? I'm not frustrated. I'm not upset
by it. I'm not feeling burdened. I didn't get to do my gym class
morning, but you're still getting exercise. Cause you gotta rub everything
down. And I was like, okay, cool.
I'm still getting everything. If I see how it benefits me, then I don't sit here bitter
for my life.
I'm seeing, I'm getting everything I wanted,
even with this certain dynamic.
that's
amazing because that's what
can do with our life. Life
throws you curve ball left and right.
Prioritize your day,
prioritize the crap out of
it. Make sure everything
scheduled that you would love to do in the life that you would love to live
And then outside of that, when stuff happens, ask how it serves you. So then I'm not sitting here like today's sucked. I'm so mad.
Shawn Buttner: I still
Carly Pepin: my learning. I still got my education. I still got my exercise in. I'm still getting all the stuff that I want. So what do I have to
about? I have a life to be grateful for. So this is where that perceptual shift comes in as well. And when we think about our life too is [00:45:00] because sometimes you'll be like, Carly, like I have to go to work and I don't like my job.
Or I have to do this and
I don't like that.
We've gone over that.
Rewind. I told you how to sort that one out.
Ask yourself how it
you. I showed you
how I did it with my little fun today. Ask how it
you. Ask how it benefits you. Also, we can tack on great.
I
got to use it as a lesson. How awesome is that? And so now it's Whoa, what an inspiring day
I had,
as opposed to Oh, I couldn't do anything I wanted.
So prioritize your day
way that you would love. There's things in there that you can't get rid of.
Go ask how it serves you until you see that you're
really grateful to be there.
sometimes it's going to take longer than other times. A lot of stuff is a bit faster for me, but only because I do it all the time.
the beginning, it might take a little bit more time
And then the more that you practice this, the more that you'll actually see, Hey, there's a lot, like it'll come faster.
It'll start to come like naturally where you'll feel annoyed and then immediately you'll see something. That you didn't see of how like you're gaining from it. And
it's really important. [00:46:00] And the stronger that you dislike something, the more you'll require those benefits
to see how it serves you.
Because
just a mathematical equation.
If I only have a couple drawbacks, I only probably
a couple benefits. But if
I have a million drawbacks, like I'm
to need
a lot more benefits.
It's going to take more time. And so it's funny to sit down and see sometimes where I'm like, This one's taking me a lot.
I was clearly a lot more
perceptually triggered.
than I thought I was.
And I have a good laugh.
I was like really sliding one way on
this one.
Shawn Buttner: I love
the of being flexible. so I'm a person that likes to plan things out and then. I also hate structure, so I like to be able to react the things. it really doesn't speak to me that, okay, my day's not gonna go the way that I want it to, but here are the ways that I can still accomplish those broad stroked goals that I have that'll help push me forward.
And that [00:47:00] flexibility, of, Being able to adapt, I is a hallmark of success, a hallmark of keeping things that's how I'm internalizing that. You're shaking your head. People listening see you shaking your head, yes. But, yeah, we're aligned. With that said, I think we're at the end of our How can the good folks at home, in their car, or working out right now, reach you and I'll put that in the show notes so you don't have to spell out URLs What's the best way for people to reach you?
Carly Pepin: Just my website which
my name, carlypeppin. com and yeah, all the info to contact me directly.
So yeah, definitely check out Carly's website down in the show notes below. Carly, it's been so much fun talking with you today. Thank you for being on the show.
Thank you so much for having me. This has
been great.
Shawn Buttner: So with that, we'll see you guys next time on the meaningful revolution podcast.
[00:48:00]
